OK, this post may need a new category called TMI.
I like a little 'ish talk. And there are some times when this is more than appropriate. For example:
1. After scoring 25 aka "Christ.mas" during a game of bones (dominoes), whenever a trump is introduced during a game of spades or in the midst of whippin' a$$ in Mor.tal Combat. In fact, it is an unwritten rule for the latter 2.
2. In battle rap, but not all that materialistic "iced out, doin' donuts and poppin' bottles" bull.
3. Cooking skills...being my favorite kind of 'ish talk from men.
4. "Yo maw" jokes on the playground back in the day.
5. Whenever your partnah's team gets their a$$ handed to 'em by your team (in whatever sport).
But I hate it...absolutely abhor it...when dudes talk all kinds of 'ish about their prowess in the bedroom pre-penetration. I can handle a freak but not a braggart. For the life of me, I just cannot figure out the point. Be it a pleasant surprise or a quiet disappointment, I don't need the pre-game commentation. Unless I've experienced toe-curlage with the dude before, his mic is turned off.
I'm ranting b/c Newsguy, perhaps in a bored state of mind, kept texting me nonsense today...straight trashy in the A.M. And here I thought that if you igged a person enough, then they would get the hint. Guess what made him stop? Tonight I sent:
LB: "Yes, I'm a hot piece so I don't blame you. But u want ure cake and to 'eat it 2'. Here's the news at 10, I'm overqualified for the 'eat it 2' position."
Newsguy: "Hahahahaha. I'm pullin' ure hand off my face."
LB: "Holla at me when ure ready to take me to dinner."
I guess that he read that and thought "murder she wrote", b/c my phone hasn't made a sound since. I figured that digging in his pocket would shut him up. But here's the thing...Newsguy was talkin' much $exual 'ish from jump. So when I finally let him cross my threshhold on my day off, I was kinda curious amongst other things.
In that post I wrote, "...some things happened...NOT EVERYTHING...". Well, what I'm about to say was not the trump card, but again, here's the news at 10.
Never brag on your endowment, if you masturbate with only 2 fingers and a thumb.
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7 comments:
Well damn!
That was funny. I was not expecting that last line. LOL!!
Okay, okay, so I have this dream right? It goes like this...someday, people will actually start dating because they give a fuck about eachother, not just because they want to fuck eachother.
I mean really...dinner, wine, candles, conversation, smiles that kinda stuff.
I know, I know, it's a silly dream, but what can I say?
@ Terry - I have a similar dream; however, Newsguy wasn't trying to date me. He was applying for the f*ck buddy position, which boggles my mind since he lacked the proper equipment. Its not that I've only dated men that were hung like a horse or that I need that to be satisfied, but if your whole angle is that you're gonna make me forget that I actually want a companion and one day a relationship, you best deliver the goods.
LOL! I'm so mad at this entire post. This is some ish I would do.. Did you notify him that he's less than average? LOL. I would love to be watching the news when that piece of info rolls across the teleprompter.
Well LB, when it comes to "the game of inches", I had my say in this post:
http://rydioflyertwo.blogspot.com/2007/05/rant-time.html
And that's all I will say about that.
Sonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! that last line! Hilarious! OMG! I can't stop laughing.
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