assorted V-Day candy

My Valentine's Day involved strawberries and hot wax! Meow!

Truth be told, J and I had our second parent-child art class this morning and today's subject was batik. We had to use hot wax to create the designs and the strawberries came from the free granola bars that the visual arts center supplied.

Normally, I abbreviate Valentine's Day with V-Day, which confuses me b/c I often associate V-Day with the day that I get a pap smear.

I'm finally at 80%, I'd say. I was mostly concerned that J wouldn't catch whatever-I-had, b/c he doesn't seem to realize that the unbilical cord was cut 7 years ago.

So speaking of health...imagine, if you will, that your doctor diagnoses you with something that's not deadly, but may present some challenges. Now imagine that the doctor comes back and says, "my don't have that." Would you be pissed? Maybe I neglected to mention that this diagnosis was a year old and this madness was one of the reasons that I was in counselling. I'm sure that all of the spiritual headhunters would say that I should feel blessed...and I do. But God knows that I'm mad about it too. I'll get over it.

Needless to say, I'm getting a new doctor.

2nd grade homework is HARD!

I got my taxes!!! And now I shall proceed to be 'hood rich! Translation: I just beefed up my e-fund and started my travel fund.

J had his baseball assessments today. After 2 years of tee-ball, he has upgraded to rookie status. I can't wait for the season to start. Kids in cleats are funny. Rephrase: Kids in cleats practicing slides into home plate without one SINGLE threat of NOT scoring are funny.

And this is all I'm going to say about Brown and Riha.nna. I think that its sad that CB has yet to be formally charged with battery but people have already convicted him. No matter what the outcome, it seems to be a lose-lose situation for him and I hate that this has been sensationalized to the degree that it has.

I lied...and another thing...I'm amazed as to how ok some people are with a woman hitting a man. After reading sentence after sentence of, "I don't care if she insert physical assault here, he STILL should've blah blah blah," I had to walk away from my computer. In the end, if Ri.hanna put her hands on CB, I wanna see some consequences...some charges....and some loss of endorsements too. It is not cute and its NEVER OK...I don't give a damn who's doing it! Restraint separates humans from animals.

And I already feel as if I gave that nonsense too much of my energy.

Bruh-coworker found a job! Yay for him!

Goth Girl bought me a Prince ALBUM...ya'll remember what those are, right? Well, it's a single...back when he was with the Revolution. I can't play it, but I love looking at him on the cover, posing just as a pretty as he'll ever be.

I started writing in a group blog about the recession with some guys from back home. I do believe in self-promotion; however, I'm tracking my consistency for the time being. So far, so good, so maybe later.

To my knowledge, none of them know that I have a blog and I'd like to keep the 2 separate.

I cannot STAND Ne.yo, but he seems to have bought out the radio stations.

I am sweet as sugar, but when I'm sick, I am pissy. I got tired of my coworker's sh*t and sent him a "nice" email Friday afternoon...cuz again, his a$$ wasn't at work. I expect some fallout next week, but I'm tired of being stressed...let the chips fall where they may.

I hope that ya'll spent the day with the one(s) that you love. I know I did.

gone fishing

Thanks for the "eyebrow raise", Terry. I finally got enough energy to sit up for longer than a minute. I have no clue as to what I have it cold or flu but it is kicking my a$$. I imagine that I picked this up while rolling around in the sand with a bunch of kids this past weekend. I'm glad that I took advantage of the beautiful weather but this whole week has been craptastic.

Overall, my body aches but my legs hurt so bad that my eyes water in my sleep. My throat has been on fire and I now sound like Mary J. at Ess.ence. Night sweats, chills, no appetite, you-name-it. I HAVE learned that its easier for me to breathe while laying on my right side which has helped me to sleep throughout the day.

But as miserable as I am, time waits for no woman. I hacked my way through an important meeting yesterday but promised everyone that was concerned that I'd take today off. I slept for most the day, but I still had to push myself out of bed to attend my son's drama showcase and I'm struggling to help him prepare for his book report presentation tomorrow.

I truly miss having someone to take care of me, b/c Zicam, Dayquil, and cough drops just aren't doing it.

Anyway, I'll read and write more when I'm at 100% ...heck, I'll just settle for 70.


**phone rings**
Me: Hey dad.
Dad: Hey baby. Are you at work yet?
Me: No, getting there. Wassup?
Dad: I just called to tell you that it's your sister's birthday.
Me: Which one?
Dad: Shon. She's 36 today. Do you think that that makes me old?
Me: **chuckle** No. I think that the fact that you're knocking on 60's door makes you old.
Dad: I'm 58 and won't be 59 until September. I'm not even near the steps.
Me: **taps phone** Is this thing on? You are most definitely on the porch!
Dad: **laughs hard** Well, I'm about to go and dye my hair while I'm standing out there.

That's us. I'm the drunk one in the middle, wearing the hoochie mama clothes (but that was "in" for toddlers during the late 70s/early 80s...I promise). Anytime my half-sisters visited, it seemed as if their mom always packed matching clothes for them. They were the dou.blemint twins and I was the oddball with a bare midriff...on countless occasions. Our clothes mimicked our relationship: they were always in the huddle and I was on the sidelines. The only things that we had in common would be our paternally-passed big heads and similar first names (also paternally-inspired).

My dad calls every year to remind me that its one or the other's birthday. And every year, I'm surprised b/c I never bother to commit them to memory. I wonder if he calls them when its my birthday, b/c I can't ever remember receiving warm wishes from either one.

I called this afternoon. Shon didn't answer the phone, as expected.

We're just not that close. I wish it were different but it is what it is. My dad's concern is that the only time my sisters and I will come together will be at his funeral. I don't think that will be the case. I've attended both of their weddings and stayed at both of their houses in BR after Ka.trina. To my knowledge, we're not in the midst of a feud but I have been totally oblivious to people having issues with me before.

I don't think that they have ever felt comfortable around my mom. And I, for sure, was scared of their mother. I haven't seen her in a while but she looked JUST LIKE Penny's momma from Good Times and there was no way in hell I was going to be left alone with her...and an iron.

I think that my dad is feeling some guilt. My half-sisters and I knew that our moms would NEVER be buddies and would NEVER occupy the same room, if it could be helped. Perhaps if my dad had fully ended his first marriage before starting a new relationship, this would be different. Many things would be different. Maybe I wouldn't be disconnected from his side of the family. Maybe I would've seen MY picture up in my grandmother's house for once. Maybe I would actually call them my sisters instead of always emphasizing the "half". Maybe when we DID speak to each other, we wouldn't each insert "my" in front of "dad" as if we were talking about different people. I think that they were envious of me, b/c they assumed that I had privilege. All the while, I was envious of them b/c they had favor...not to mention, each other.

I grew to accept disconnection from "loved ones." In many cases, I deemed it necessary. So all of this made me think.

I have a bad habit of telling friends and family that I love them, but not always showing it. I have no problem doing this with my son and had no problem doing this with my mom. But I need to make this year about actions. I live less than 15 minutes away from my cuz and her fam and I can count how many times we've hung out last year on one hand. I need to be and do better. I have found myself saying that I have found better friends in my friends than they have found in me. I need to be and do better. And doggonit, I'm gonna call my sister's a$$ again until she cusses me out, b/c WE need to be and do better.

First step: I'm putting her birthday on my calendar.