curly girl wonder diaries - 8 month update

I wish that I could say something inspiring, cute, or exciting about this month but, honestly, I am so bored with my hair. Partly, I am tired of having short hair, but I really didn't feel this way until I went to the ball with my girlfriends, who incidentally have some serious "hang-time" and "whip-action". I got complements on my style, but I miss my long hair.

I could think of all kinds of styles that I could've experimented with...if I were relaxed. An elegant bun, loose curls, bone-straight, etc. The only creative thing that I did with my natural hair was to make a drammatic, red feather clip...which couldn't be seen in any of the pictures b/c I always pose on (what I think to be) my "good side."

Other than that, I have been doing protective styles...and well, there's only so many different ways that I can think to pin my twists. I do like sporting this black crochet hat that I got b/c I can spray my twists with my oil concoction and wear my bonnet on top and hide it with the hat.

I'm not interested in flat-ironing just yet b/c I'm in that "in-between" length. I did a wash 'n go while I was back home. This was mostly b/c I spent weeks in those twists and my scalp was craving a good scrub. The wash 'n go was my best option b/c I was crunched for time while on my vacay.'s okay, I guess. So, to protect me from myself...i.e. doing another big chop, dying it some wack color, or gazing longingly at my dear fab.ulaxers, I revisited my coils from months ago.

I put these in yesterday. It took FOR-EV-A! Thank goodness, Mal.colm X was on. I did these on wet hair so they shrunk up higher than when I did my regular dry twists. I think that I made them smaller than what I used to so I may just let these ride for another couple of weeks.

I really don't want to have to think about how I'm going to style my hair for a while. I really don't want to think about my hair, in general, for a while. I guess it's growing but it seems that that's negligible.

I dunno...I'm in a bit of a "hair funk".

Keeping my head above water,

Curly Girl Wonder aka LB

mar.di gras 2010

Why do I need a vacation to recover from my vacation? I'm not as young as I used to be so I can't do things like I used to do. Mard.i is one of those things.

I didn't make any concrete plans before I left. I just wanted a little kin.g, charbroil.ed oy.sters, a couple of coconuts, beads, and family. I had no idea "who" I was doing "what" with b/c I want to see everybody but there's only so much I can do in so little time. My dad always makes fun of me, b/c my coming home is comparable to when Den.ise would come home on the Co.sby hardly saw her.

To some extent, I'm off "mommy duty", so I take advantage of that when I can.

Thursday (So.ul Re.bels)

OK, so...I left the cold in VA to be in...the cold of N.O. I flew right into some wintry mix of rain, sleet, and ice. I was exhausted b/c of my early flight, but I couldn't turn down a couple of helpings of char.broiled oysters. My "friend" and I went out to eat and then to Le Bon to catch the Sou.l Reb.els. I do not know why I agreed to be out that late.

Friday ( Ball)

Went to the Ball with some girlfriends. I had every wardrobe malfunction known to man b/c the dress was too long and I am too short. My stepmother sewed in a wrist strap just so that I could lift the back of my dress up. The gown that I REALLY wanted was damn-near $200, but as much as I tried to justify such a purchase, I couldn't. I don't think that I did bad for $65.

Er.ic performed...and well, I was too into my gumbo and whatever it is that some bartender mixed for me. Mysti.kal, on the other hand, shocked us all. I am a fan from waaaaayyyyy back.

Saturday (NOMTOC & Endymio.n)

I didn't get back home until 6 AM. Since, I was supposed to take J to the NOMTOC parade early in the morning, I opted to NOT go to sleep.

And YES, I felt every last hour of NON-sleep. J's God.mother had tickets to the stands on St. Char.les near Hall for the Endy.mion parade so we went from one parade to prepare for another. Lawdhavmercy, it was COLD! I had to keep moving around in order to stay warm. At the end of the night, we had bags full of footballs, stuffed animals, beads, swords, cups, and random trinkets. J was one of the few kids in the area so the people on the floats were pelting us with stuff. Let me just say that getting slapped across the face with several beads (in the cold) is not a sexy feeling.

Sunday (V-Day and Family Night)

Went to Zea's with the "friend" for a V-Day dinner. If anything gave me that loving feeling, it was the corn grits. J didn't want to go to Bacc.hus so I was cool with sitting that one out. My nieces and nephews came down from Ba.ton and we had a Wii tournament afterwards. I should be embarrassed to say that the 8 year-olds whipped up on us all.

Monday (Girls' Night)

One of my besties called and said that she wanted me to come over for some crawfish pasta. So I ended up over there with her and my "girlfriend". I was hoping that it wouldn't be awkward between me and the "girlfriend". I don't think that it was but who knows...that pasta was too good to concentrate on anything else.

Tuesday (Mar.di!)

And I'm spent!


I am shaking, crying, hoarse, and nursing rug burns from rolling around in the floor like Patti La.Belle. One of our phrases is "I Believe" but I still can't believe that I am witnessing this. I don't know if anyone has gathered this from my blog but I LOVE my city!!! And this Superbowl win means SO MUCH...just beyond any words that I can string together.

Immediately after that interception by Trac.y Por.ter, my home and cell phones started ringing off the hook...even though there were several minutes left in the game. I have screamed, jumped around, and even stripped down to my fleur de lis scarf.

And now I'm going home this week...for two celebrations, it seems. Mardi and the citywide post-Superbowl party.

Congrats to THE Super.bowl, the New Or.leans Sai.nts!!! You have made me and your city...your STATE...proud!


curly girl wonder diaries - hair daze

A coworker walked by my desk, paused, and then backed up and said, "Wow, your hair looks different."

Acknowledging that "different" is not exactly a compliment, I just shook my head slowly.

I have been wearing my twists this week. I've actually worn my twists weeks at a time, but I very rarely see this coworker, in particular.

It's interesting how one's tastes change. This time, last year..."going natural" was no where near my radar. My hair was long and I loved my Saturday morning rituals that culminated with the roller wrap. I always felt like a new woman when I combed my wrap down and swung out my 'laxed hair.

The only time that I envied someone with natural hair was my bestie, who had been growing out her relaxer for 2 years and getting her chemically-straightened ends gradually cut off. Although she flat-ironed every couple of weeks (and sometimes shorter than that), her hair was the thickest that I had ever seen it. Aside from that, I associated natural hair with what I had seen my other friend sport for over 10 years. At times, it looked dry. At other times, simply unmanageable. It seemed that her puff was done moreso out of lack of motivation. You know be honest, I only liked one natural style on her.

Sometimes I wonder what my mom would think. She didn't respond favorably when my friend decided to go natural back in the day. It's clear that my dad isn't feeling it...and I don't give a f-uh, moving on. (I STILL have yet to understand what his issue is when his wife has been faded up for years).

When my mom moved to N.O. from Cha.ttanooga, she wore an afro. I remember her telling me that as soon as she got to N.O., the women there said, "Oh no, honey, we straighten our hair here." And that was the end of her afro era. She was fried, dyed, and laid to the side, shortly after she had me...too bad that my dad didn't receive a similar memo about his scary jheri curl.

I didn't get my first relaxer until I was 12 y/o...and that was not without begging. I spent almost every Sunday before then getting my ears burned by hot combs and then witnessing my hair revert shortly after I bathed. If I ever got in trouble, that was considered to be a cardinal sin b/c of all the time put into straightening my hair. I figured that a relaxer would be the best of both worlds...I could have straight hair and I could bathe for 3 hours at a time (that's not exactly a good idea either, lol).

Since then, if I felt just one wave at the root, I rushed to get a touch-up. The only time that I broke from relaxing was when I was pregnant with J. My doctor didn't say it was necessary but I wanted to take every precaution. But once I spit him out and stopped breast-feeding, it was on and popping!

So, it's kind've interesting to me that, now, I have somewhat of a natural hair obsession. I remember saying that I would never wear twists in public. This week alone, I've had them pinned up, pinned back, dressed up, and dressed down. I just bought 2 hats to wear to style them up when I'm not at work. It has also helped to have the twists in when I was getting snowed on. And it's going to be wonderful to not have to do my hair while I'm snowed in. I may never remove my satin cap this weekend (except for when I throw it up in the air after that Superbowl win)!

I miss my wash n' gos and hope to get back to them soon. It's fascinating to see what I have been suppressing for all of these years. Maybe, springtime will be the time to revisit. I have no clue when I'm going to flat iron my hair. I used to think that that's all I would do. Tastes change. At first, I thought that I wanted to do it on my 1st year anniversary but since that's 2 days before my bday, that's not happening. I don't even want straight hair on my birthday...never thought that I'd say that. Simply put, it's been done before...several years before.

The only hurdle I have left to jump is the afro. I've picked my hair out once or twice and...stayed in the house. I see beautiful women with beautiful afros, but I just don't have the nerve yet. Maybe I will by the time my bday rolls around. We'll see.

'Going natural' has certainly tested my self esteem these past (almost) 8 months...especially when I had all of this other stuff going on in my life. But I can appreciate the journey and the test.

And I'm just happy to know that I passed.


Have any faves? Share your favorite natural-haired youtubers and/or blogs.

And whether you're natural or not, what are your short and long term hair goals?


So...I was on the phone with one of my besties the other night and we started talking about this guy that I used to be CRAZY about in high school. He lived one subdivision over from mine...making it easy for him to ride his bike to my house when my mom wasn't home. We didn't have sex but up until that time in high school, he had seen parts of me that no other guy had seen. We went to prom together, but were never officially a couple...he was pretty popular with a few ladies. We had an interesting relationship...yep, that sums it up.

Well, I hadn't spoken to him in over 10 years. All of a sudden, he resurfaces via FB. So, I was able to see that he was married, pretty successful, and looked EXACTLY the same. After we became FB friends, he wrote what seemed to be a 4-page email. Now, my memory is not very good. I have to be reminded of some things, so when he went on and on about how hurt he was when I severed our friendship and how much he valued me, I was confused for a good minute. By the time I got to paragraph 4, I was able to recall what happened.

My mom passed away while I was in college and during that time, my emotions were haywire and I started severing ties with people that I didn't feel were true friends. Now, I remember telling him that he wasn't worth my time but I don't remember why I said it. Oh well. It's not as if he fought for me or anything so 10 years can easily go by without speaking.

So, THAT'S the part of the email that I concentrated on at that time. The rest of it was just a backdrop...until I talked to my bestie. I mentioned something about his always saying something to me behind the scenes. If I update my status and he thinks it's funny, he'll email me instead of commenting. If I post a pic, he'll email me his opinion instead of commenting. I said something about his not wanting to be tracked and started talking about that 4-page email he sent. I focused on one thing; however, she picked up on another. I had to go back and read word for word exactly how he phrased a portion of the email.

He said:

" had a birthday party in June and you and I wrestled intimately on the couch a few hours before the other guests arrived. Now, I may be completely wrong. I may've even fantasized about the experience, but that thought made me smile."

So, when I first read the email, I didn't even blink at that statement. But when I read it to my married married bestie who seems to be the spokeperson for all the wives of the world...well, she became enraged. She probably got more pissed b/c I was her. She said that it was totally inappropriate. OK, I won't disagree. I imagine that if I were going through my man's inbox (as I have done before) and come across something similar (as I have done before) then there would be some smoke in the city (as has gone down before). I guess that I didn't get weirded out by it, b/c I was too busy trying to digest everything else and wondering why what I said bothered him enough to speak on it...10 years later.

With a new set of eyes, I re-read the whole email and yeah, he said a few things that made me wonder what his motives were. A few emails later, he gave me his number and asked me to call him but I never did. I mean, "what I look like???" But anyway, even if he weren't married, we still live no where near each other so, to me, it was all harmless.

But was it?

So here are my questions...

If you're dating, in a relationship, or married to you expect them to never flirt with another member of the opposite sex?

Is that a realistic expectation?

And if it isn't, where do you draw the line?

Is "flirting" healthy?