I threw a dart at a board with the different topics that I would write about tonight. My dating life won.
My motto for this year: I am doing me for 2012. So, do you, boo.
How did I get here? Well, without thumbing through my old posts, I'm guessing that the last man that I talked about was the "friend". It's unfortunate the way that ended b/c I still care about him as a person and wish him well. But a few things about our last email exchange put me off and that's that. I'm not a fan of his making unnecessary comments regarding me on twitter, but what can you do. Everyone expresses themselves differently. That's his space, so he can say whatever he wants. Much like I can say whatever I want here. Moving on...
After a very shitty recruiter experience, my girlfriend gives me the contact information for some dude, who wasn't a recruiter, but was connected to many engineers in the N.O. Let's call him R or "Arruh", lol. So me and Arruh start communicating with each other. But when I decided to hold off on looking for a job until this spring, our relationship shifted from talking about local companies to relationships and romance. We decided to hang out when I went back home for my 15 year HS reunion. He was cute, kinda fine, and we had similar senses of humor. It was on and popping...that is, until I found out that he had a lady. Whomp, whomp, whomp. Better to know that early on, right?
I was supposed to see him again when I went home for Christmas, but that was pretty much out. At any rate, Arruh did introduce me to one of his friends, who was also an engineer. I won't even give him a name b/c it's not worth it, but he wanted to take me out while I was in town for Christmas. I imagine that he hadn't a clue about anything between Arruh and I. I kept hinging on the fact that they were boys, but then again, Arruh would probably be laying up under his lady whether I went or not. So the plan was for us to hang out the Friday night before New Year's.
BUT...my friend, Darius, texted me, asking what I was doing that evening. I've written about Darius before, as I have linked the third part to this trilogy of our reconnecting 2 years ago. It's funny, b/c I just re-read what I wrote back then and how I was feeling. How easily I forget things.
Anyway, he soon picked me up so that we could go to an open mic. So, my plans with that other dude, pretty much went out the window. Well, by the time we get to the open mic, it was over. Plan B was to bar hop. And that's when I got in trouble. The first place we went to was the same place that I went to with Arruh, the last time that I was in town. So, I was peeping around corners and ery'thang, lol. We get our drinks and settle on this park bench outside in the back of the spot and talk. And as he's telling me of his life plans, I am impressed. The "follow-through"...well, that has yet to be seen, but I do see promise. In the middle of our conversation, some random dude just walks up and asks to interview Darius. I'm guessing that this has something to do with spoken word but I really didn't pay too much attention as they filmed. I just stood behind and looked on. I don't know if it were a combination of the alcohol and the way that he confidently looked into the camera, but I was feeling something. But in the midst of my feeling whatever that was, a fight broke out in the spot, lol. So, it was on to Plan C.
We went to another spot, lined with bars and bands. We couldn't walk more than 5 steps without someone recognizing him and stopping us to talk. Of course, he enjoyed the attention. I was rather on the fence. We went to another bar with a band and had more drinks. By this point, I was "gone". Dancing crazily, semi-slurred but aware. Almost everytime that I see him, he usually asks if I want to "catch up" physically for old times sake. And almost everytime, I say no. But that night, I decided that if he asked, it would be his lucky day. He always tells me about other girls that he's been with, so I stayed a comfortable distance so as to not interrupt his game, but towards the end of the night, he had his arm around me and then we were holding hands...it was a little weird. Finally, I asked, as we walked the block...
"Are you going to take me home?"
He said, "No, I'm going to take you to my home."
Annnnnndddddd, it was written, lol. It had been 8 years since we were last intimate. 8 years. And it was better than I remembered. Heck, I couldn't even remember how long it had been. He had to tell me that. So, I spent that night with him. And as I lay there, reflecting on the passion shared the moments before, I thought, this is all it will be. I thought of the times when we were in school and when I'd be walking down the street, he would hop out of a bush, singing Prin.ce's A.dore, making a total ass out of himself. And then I thought of the time when I told him that I was homesick shortly after I moved here and he sent me a You.tu.be vid of his singing A.dore loud and wrong, while ad libbing my name in the lyrics. The first time that he mentioned that he loved me was in a blog, while using my gub'ment name and then he said it again within some FB status years ago. Not to be taken as "in love", but the fact that he would put that out there usually caught me off guard. He was always around after situations with other dudes fell through. And then there was that poem... And as everything came together in my head, I had to remind myself, again, that this is all that it will be.
When he took me home the next morning, I hugged him, told him that I had fun, and shut the door behind me. And with that said, I knew that I needed to shut the door behind men from my past and just clear my head overall.
Not desiring to be on some emotional rollercoaster, my chant for this year: "I'm doing me". But of course, whenever you declare that out loud, you get tested...
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