congratulate me b/c I just lost my job

So if you're my friend or LadyLee (who I called before calling my daddy), then you probably just got the word that I was laid off.

I was going to write about my trip today, but this seems like a MUCH better topic, hunh?

Well, my trip to New Orle.ans was wonderful. Great food, great friends. I came back feeling rejuvenated. I planned my trip before we were told about our office-wide meeting today, so I thought that it was bad timing b/c I knew that I would be tired and may need the extra day off to recuperate. So I thought...

Going back home put a lot of things into perspective.

When I had dinner with my girlfriends, we were catching up on each others latest accomplishments and our jobs. Out of the five of us at the table, I felt as if I enjoyed my job the least. I don't know if its b/c they work more with people and I work with paper, but I started to reevaluate what it is that I was holding onto. Now, any one of them could've been faking the funk but I knew in my heart that I couldn't fake it if I tried.

Now that they've let me go, I'm just gon' be real for a moment. One thing that they did say to me before I walked out was that they couldn't afford me. They were DAMN RIGHT!

I had already been told to humble myself (in so many words) so that I could learn from my "mentor"...the prick that told me to "come and sit on his lap" when I asked him a question. They were already kind enough to let me know that they didn't support my getting a P.E. license or the other goals that I had outlined from day one. They made it clear that they didn't value my ambition or my motivation, so they were indeed correct! Them mofos CANNOT afford me. And I cannot afford to continue having chest pains and headaches to support their car notes.

But no hard faith was never in man and as long as I keep my faith in God, I KNOW that everything is going to be more than alright.

And how do I KNOW this?

While I was back home, I had my friend G drive me around my old neighborhood. And as I looked at my house and the other houses, I was reminded of where I came from. I'm not talking about the state of the 'hood b/c it was always a good neighborhood. But my mom died in that house and then 6 years after that I lost everything that I owned in that house. As long as me and my baby still got our health, the worst that could ever happen to me has already happened.

So while my two "superiors" sat me down in the conference room and talked to me as if they had me shook, I said nothing and (at times) tuned them out. They said that I could work up until next Tuesday if I wanted to.

I had 2 projects due tomorrow and I was thinking that I would have to work overtime b/c I had missed 3 days from being back home. Running the calculations in my head...**carry the one**

FORGET THAT! Let ya golden boy, Mr. Mentor, handle it...that is, when he's actually at the office. I threw the deuce and walked out.

I didn't say anything to anybody, except for 2 other girls that were left broken at their cubes. I hugged each of them tightly and let them know that everything was going to be ok. I wasn't in the mood to have anyone else comfort me. I'm going back this evening to gather my things in the quiet after I pick up J from school.

And that's that.

Now, here is what I ask of you. I appreciate words of encouragement, but if you are moved to comment PLEASE do not say that you're sorry or feel sorry for me. I don't need that and I don't want it. I know that it comes from a good place, but I am in good spirits right now.

If anything, just congratulate me on my new opportunity...b/c there is most certainly one in the works.

I's back...

Words to follow shortly...need some rest so that I can be alert for "THE MEETING". I'll holla~

simply giddy

...and I have every reason to be! "I'm poor, black, and may even be ugly, but dear God, I'm HERE!" -celie

OK, 2 of those descriptions don't apply to me and its pretty clear that I'm black, but there was so much spirit behind that quote in the movie that I just had to throw my fists in the air and use it b/c I'M HERE!


So, on Monday I got pulled over by a cop with a speech impediment. "D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Do you know wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh **pause, takes breath** why I p-p-p-p-pulled..." Ok, I'm not trying to be funny, but that was the LONGEST traffic stop of my daggone LIFE! But he earned his badge and caught me b/c my tags were expired. Had he not pulled up (ahead of me, mind you) to the stoplight, in the lane adjacent to me, and heard that I was bumping my music rather loud (b/c my song JUST came on and my kid wasn't in the car), he wouldn't have even broke his neck trying to spot who was in the car through his rear view mirror.

Now, I'm not gonna say that I was racially profiled (b/c my tags WERE expired....although I have had a cop to ride behind me for more than a mile and not be able to see that or care). I will accept responsibilty b/c it slipped my mind and I should've gotten them renewed on time. It was just funny, how he slowed up just enough to get behind me and then rode my ass while he was pulling up all my info, including my uncle Vernon's middle name, for a good minute until he found SOMETHIN', ANYTHING and then he pulled me over.

When he started talking, I have to say that I wanted to grab the clipboard and write the damn ticket myself.

Anyway, went to the DMV on Tuesday and then to the courthouse today, showed my new registration, and told the clerk to drop the case like it's hawwwttttt!!! Got a "Com.plied with Law" stamp and was singing on my way. "Spin around ma'...drop, drop, like's it's hawwwttt...."

And the moral of the story is...don't be ig'nant with your music while breaking the law and black. Got it??? LOL!


Why is SO SERIOUS?! So I was being sex.ually harrassed by this guy at work, who's supposed to be my "mentor". Hmmmm, I typed that kinda matter-of-factly but it was really happening and I guess that I might not have written anything about it on here. I went to ask him something once and he said "come sit on my lap" and he has blown a kiss at me in a meeting (in front of my now supervisor)...just grossly disrespectful. I've discussed this behavior with my supervisor and well...that's a whole 'nother blog that I may never write but this dude is sweating me over being my friend. I've already ignored his friend request, blocked him from being able to search me, and dismissed it when he first mentioned it. Now, a month later he's still saying it all sleazy, "I want to be your frieeeennd." I'm one of 3 female en.gineers there and the only black one...if I could get away with stomping him in his nuts, it would be a good day. But, that's the only thing that he says to me now (aside from ACTUALLY mentoring me), so I guess that there may have been some sort of "slap on the hand."


My baby's Opening Day for Little League was this past weekend...that includes the parades, fire trucks, moonbounces, team pictures, etc. It was a gorgeous day and it was pretty cool to see all of those kids excited about being celebrated by their families. I always wonder if J wishes that he had more than just me there...I mean, we're on year 3 of this and it has just been slightly-overzealous me. I take as many pictures as my battery will allow and email them to my dad, but I know that it's not the same. I hope that he remembers how many times I've lost my cell phone in the bleachers while jumping up and down and cheering for him.

can you pay my bills?

Mayne, FAMILY!!! I was talking to my "stalker aunt", T Val, last night. (She's my "stalker aunt" b/c she's real worrisome and will call you several times in a row b/c she thinks that you're sitting by the phone, looking at her number on Caller ID. And when you DO call her back or answer the phone, she has to know where you've been b/c well...she doesn't go anywhere and has THAT much time on her hands.) So anyway...I was talking to T Val and she was discussing her money woes. Her house was foreclosed on last year and she doesn't have enough money to make ends meet. Don't think that this is b/c of the state of the economy. She has been having money trouble before the day that I was born. You can't help but to have money trouble with an 8th grade education and no ambition...but she keeps her hair and nails did (yes, I said did).

Me: I don't know what's gonna happen. I just have my mind set on going home.
T Val: B*** (the convenience store that she's been working at for the past 30+ years in a non-managerial position b/c it would've been too much work) is talking 'bout letting go of some folks if they don't get bought out. Shoot, everybody worrying but I'm gon' eat regardless. I may be under someone else's roof but I'm gon' eat.
Me: **nervous** where you going?
T Val: I'm gon' stay with Tiff...c'mon up there to VA.
Me: You would come all the way out here instead of moving in with Les (her oldest son in ATL)...that's just 2 hours away from where you are.
T Val: I know but he gets on my nerves.
Me: You raised him!
T Val: Yeah, but let me tell you what he he paid my lawyer bills for me right. It was like $1500.
Me: Really?!
T Val: Yeah but, this negro decided that since he paid the bill that he wasn't gonna get me anything for Christmas.
Me: Are you serious?
T Val: Yeah, can you believe that???
Me: What I can't believe is that he rolled off 15 $100-dollar bills to help you and you're griping about him not giving you socks or perfume for Christmas??? I mean, seriously???
T Val: He said that since he paid my bill all close to the holiday that I should consider that my Christmas present. I mean, how cheap can you get??? I didn't get nothing!
Me: **dumbfounded at how broke folks always want to be someone else's financial advisor** Did the lawyer's office call you around the holiday?
T Val: No.
Me: How about during the first quarter of this year?
T Val: No.
Me: Then you got peace of mind. Not just for Christmas but for all-year 'round!

Family! Sometimes you just want to choke 'em out.

don't push me...

...cuz I'm close to tha...EDGE. I'm tryin' not to lose my head...

I swear fo' lawd, I'm feeling nuttier by the day, lol. I know that I need to holla at my Suzie sometime but honestly, I just don't want to give up that copay when I know that I'm not as bad off as I used to be.

Before I delve deep into my usual weekly randumbness, I want to get something off of my chest. One of my favorite bloggers is pondering the future of her page and rather than comment on her post, only to be washed out by the other 50+ commenters, I thought that it would be best for me to speak on it here.

Do you.

There, I said it. And now that that's out in the open, I would like to thank everyone that continues to visit MY blog, read what I have to say (even when it isn't much), and offer words of encouragement, advice or virtual hi-fives. I don't have a sitemeter b/c keeping track of visitors would probably make me nuttier than I already am. And for the most part, I don't really care who reads as long as you don't trip. So, if anyone that I happen to know outside of the blog world is sneaking in (and you KNOW that I didn't tell you about it b/c I DON'T tell people that I know about it) and I should happen to say something about you that you don't like, well, I'm not sorry. If you got soft feelings and get your shoulders all hunched up over any and everything, it would behoove you to poof, be gone. I don't typically have harsh words for many but I thought that I'd issue that disclaimer anyway.


So, I visited Kat's megachurch on Easter Sunday and it was a big mistake. I've been pretty good about controlling my cussing, but parking was a gray-headed BIATCH! I just knew that there was a cover charge, a 2 communion minimum, and Moses was scheduled to rap the 10 Commandments. NEVER again! It was a good service, but still...



Board of Directors mtg - April 24th
Depart for New Or.leans - April 25th
Return to VA - April 29th
Office-Wide mtg - April 30th

I'm gonna be tired as all hell but I'll be there...with a tan, blue lips from my bubblegum snoballs, and a gut from snorting crawfish bread.

It's getting kinda frigid over here. I was going over some drawings with a coworker when he told an architect that a plan change needed to be made. I wasn't familiar with the project, but it seemed like a simple enough change. Mayne....this woman was cool at first, but then all of a sudden, she started cracking up. I mean, she lost it. I probably should've given her my Suzie's card. I'm not really thinking about anything besides going home. I'll deal with whatever happens, come the 30th.


I'm gonna sum this up with the line of the week.

Mr. Clean: "So you like bald white guys?"
Me: I don't particularly seek them out. So you like short-haired black girls?
Mr. Clean: Oh yeaaaahhhh. Way more sensual. I really like black girls that can kiss well. Can you kiss well?


And this is why I don't log on like I should. I'm starting to think that internet dating is for the socially inept, but what does that say about me. I'm an only child so I can entertain myself pretty damn well. Going on a date just to have something to do or something to blog about is certainly not worth my time, the discomfort, or the free meal.

Now, I'm talking to a dude that I knew from a professional organization that I belong to (of which I am now the treasurer, b/c I like to hold money). He's no longer a member of it, b/c he moved to another part of VA. I never felt any sparks when I saw him, but I'm just glad to see a non-crazy, somewhat familiar face.

But I'm thinking that this other guy that I met on there in January might be worth further investigation...we'll see.


Want some tight abs for the summer? Hula hoop.

J and I decorated hula hoops in our last art class. The teacher is a professional hula hoop-er, which I didn't know existed but I think that means that she hoops through fire or something. Anyway, she taught us a few tricks on Saturday and my stomach was still feeling tight on Monday. J looked was funny. Hula hoops were flying everywhere. I got hit in the head a few times but it was all in good fun.

I think that that's what's keeping me going. I've been finding joy in the simplest things.

spring cleaning

I got THE call:

"Hi, this is Ms. Linda at ****, I'm calling to let you know that J has been to the bathroom twice and now has his head over a trash can, looking as if he's about to spew chunks!"

So, I'm home...working from home (and blogging, for a change...which I can only do at home) while tending to a sick kid. I knew that he was feeling bad when he turned down food and laid in his draws, staring into space. I DID hear a somewhat "thunderous" noise the last time that he ran to the bathroom, so by the looks of my watch I'd say that he'll feel better in another 35-45 minutes.

I'm waiting on J's dad to get here. A few weeks ago, he told J that he'd visit with him during Spring Break, so J has been counting down the days as if its Chris.tmas. He should be here for the next 3 days, so I'll probably spend a lot of time upstairs with my nose in a book or this stack of Archi.tectural Di.gests on my nightstand that I've yet to dig into. Anything to keep him from wanting to tell me his life story and what's going wrong now. I don't mean any harm but I don't really give a damn about his family.

Speaking of the other side of J's family, here's what those crazies look like:

Whew...thank God for my strong genes. LOL, just kidding. I don't remember writing about it, so forgive me if I repeat myself but J and I took some FREE art classes at the local visual arts center in February. We took knitting, batik, and cartooning. Everything was all good when we had separate projects but when we had to work together...well, we had some creative differences, lol. I don't know who taught him to have an opinion. Anyway, since we had so much fun (especially when our superheroes joined forces for cartooning), I signed us up for more FREE classes this month. Last Saturday's class was "pre-Columbian clay sculpture" (translation: FREE). Pictured above is one of J's many creations. I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned.

We were supposed to combine the features of several animals to form one sculpture. Notice how I won't dare to post a picture of my one. J did about 4 of 'em, including that deranged-looking depiction of his daddy...I mean, that mouse head.

Next class, hula hooping. I didn't pick that and am still scratching my head as to why J picked it, but I imagine that it'll be another "knitting" situation. Last session, he picked "knitting" b/c he thought that we were going to make that monster that was strategically-placed by the sign-up sheet. Once J realized that that wasn't going down, his yarn was all over the floor and his knitting needles became drumsticks.

It looks like April is going to be the month of recovery. Have you ever been in a funk, but couldn't really put your finger on what's wrong? I just haven't been feeling it lately...not depressed, but I've been dangling somewhere around 85%. Decent, but I could use some "umph"! I'm glad that spring and baseball season is here, that J and I are in these art classes, and that we're going home the end of this month. I should be back to 100 by May, if not before. I may pick up my drill or my paint brush for good measure...I always feel better after a project, although I had to temporarily table my high-dollar ideas.

I'm trying to stay protective of my vibe as well. There are rumors going around the office that there may be another round of layoffs but I can't even give that energy if I tried. There's no more worry left in me. All I can do is pray about it, review my options, make moves or move on...I can't allow any and everything/everyone to rent out space in my mind. It's definitely time for some spring cleaning.

a funny thing happened...

...on the way to the hairdressah...

I need to clean my mirror (so what?!)

I guess that I won't be Prince for Halloween again...well, maybe not circa 1984.