salty

I've been awake for 30 minutes or so. I look like hell. I feel like hell. And I'm staring at these stilettos on the floor, wondering who in the hell is going to walk around in those. Mayne, if it weren't considered uncivilized, I would surely rock some Nikes with this here gold dress. But I digress...I didn't go out and buy a purse to coordinate with my 'fit or those chandelier earrings that S30 suggested.

I guess that I had been searching for every excuse to NOT go to this Holiday Gala tonight. And for a minute, every sign led up to my thinking that God was saying "don't go"...I know, I tend to put words in God's mouth often, but complain when I can't hear (or won't listen to) Him speaking to me, lol.

I asked my cuz if she would babysit for me. She hit me with the "let me check with my husband" line (which usually is the stimulus to my involuntary eye roll) and I just dismissed the whole idea altogether. (Probably reason #38875456 why I would not make a good wife). She later told me that they had a birthday party that HE wanted to go to but that they would probably go early and leave early. So, there was a chance that I could pass through my party a little late. My response, "Don't worry about it. I'm not in the business of inconveniencing folk," and I let it be.

Then the layoffs happened, which made me an emotional wreck. I kept thinking, "How would it look if I'm out celebrating while my friends are out of a job?" I walked past the Prez in the hallway the other day and he asked me if I were going to the Gala. I shook my head and told him that I didn't have a babysitter and he swatted in the air as if I were giving him a dumb excuse. That man is always hounding me right before every event. I understand that its business, but the company just let go of 40 people. Why in the hell is he worried about me?

There was already the matter of the "no date" thing, which I had gotten past with the help of the collective guilt trips spun forth by my friends.

And lastly, I dyed my hair last Monday. I mentioned in Monday's post that I was a tiny bit allergic to hair dye. Well "tiny" was a misnomer. I used to dye my hair all kinds of colors while in high school and college. Somewhere along the line, I developed an allergy to it and discovered this a little over 5 years ago. My hair didn't fall out...and its sad to say that if I had to choose between my arm and my hair at the time, well, I would be doing the single-arm cabbage patch for the rest of my life. Instead I had to suffer the irritation of my scalp, neck, and ears. I ended up having to get a shot and it was a wonderful thing. Since then, I have gone to the hairdresser and have had my hair highlighted and colored with no problem, so I thought that I may be in the cool. I hadn't dyed my hair in a long time so I picked up a rinse. Cool was not the case. The allergic reaction set in on Tuesday. I called the doctor repeatedly on Wednesday, lymph nodes a-swelling by then, and got an afternoon appointment for Friday. In the mean time, I self-medicated with every form of Bena.dryl that I could find. I begged this man for a shot as if he were my pusher. No dice. He gave me an oral steroid, some cream, and sent me on my way. I swallowed six pills last night and laid it down. And now, I'm up...looking like stir-fried crap but I actually feel a little better. A little loopy, but better. My lymph nodes are straight now. Needless to say, when this mess washes out, I will be a dirty brown-haired girl until I gray gracefully. Tee said to me, "For what its worth, that black sure is pretty." For what its worth? Yep, not a dayum thing.

So I'm sitting here. Mad at myself b/c I didn't successfully modify my birth control and am now on my cycle, headached and annoyed. Kat had offered to babysit (under the condition that J brings his Wii) 2 days ago, b/c she wants me to go and celebrate the fact that I do have a job. I'm gonna have to wash my hair for the 4th time this week and figure out what in the world I'm going to do to it. So I guess that means that I'm going, but I won't stay long...and I can't drink. I'll figure out the accessorizing thing later.