tales from the street minister

Scene: Since I've been working from home for the past couple of days, I have had time to check emails, read blogs (and write them), and call my folk in the N.O. I have been hassling my deacon daddy all day about evacuating. But he keeps saying that he has some things to do at the church, since his Pastor has been in Africa for the past 2 months...taking pride in the fact that he's next in charge.

Me: Dad, I need to know whatchu gon' do. All ya'll need to be up out of there. Gus.tav ain't playing!

Dad: When everyone gets home, we're gonna sit down and figure out when we're gonna go. Brenda and 'em gon' be outta here before me. I'm gonna go and handle some things at the church first.

Me: What exactly do you have to do??? What exactly CAN you do that will prevent that church from going down IF Gus.tav rolls through there?

Dad: Maybe I can minister to someone outside the church.

Me: Who in the hell you going to be ministering to if there's a mandatory evacuation. Didn't Jin.dal say that they're arresting people? I guess you'll be ministering to the other fools in jail.

Dad: I ministered to a man this morning at the gas station. I saw him drinking something out of a cup that he dug out of the trash can. I hollered at him and told him that he didn't know what kinda stuff was in that cup.

Me: Well obviously, he was desparate for food and lacked options.

Dad: I knew that he was homeless. I gave him some money...and I gave him some advice. I said, "Look here. I'm gon' give you this 5 dollars. You can take this to MACK-Donald's and get you something to eat. You might even wanna get on one of these buses that'll take you to safety. But let me tell you something...I'm not tryin' to question your smarts. I don't know what your education level is or anything, but in case you DIDN'T know...gas is HIGH! You got people pulling up to the pump, MAD already, and then YOU gon' ask them for change? They just might bust you in the head for the change YOU got. I ain't tryin' to tell you where to go, but if I were you I'd stand on the corner across the street or the one over there, but I sure as hell wouldn't stand here!"

LMAO!!! Lawd, hold my mule!