bottom of the map

I's back...well, somewhat. I shall be recuperating from my trip all day tomorrow. Lawdtaday, I just do not want to do deal with work folks anytime soon. Anyways, I'll make this brief and perhaps elaborate later. I had a great time...so much so that I'm bouncing around the idea of amending my 5-year plan and moving back home. The jury's still out on that for the moment. I got my baby back and all is well. Somewhat...

I'll just share one part of my trip...guess what I discovered? Not only was Mack back home visiting as well, he was staying with his brother (who, I also discovered, lives in the same neighborhood as my dad). I texted him when I got off the plane just to see if he were already in town and, come to find out, he was coming down on Saturday. We went out for some dai.quiris Sunday night. Now, every night that I was down there, I was partying like a rock star...just to get it out of my system before my baby's school year officially started. And every one of those nights, I was grabbed and/or annoyed by some stranger. On that Sunday night; however, Mack and I had a good time ribbin' each other for a couple of hours and all I got was a hug and a peck on the cheek. And you know what I decided?

I want THIS man.

...but I don't know why. I don't know if its b/c our paths keep crossing. I don't know if its b/c the reason that I broke off our very short-lived high school relationship was REALLY stupid and I want to right that STUPID. I don't know if its b/c my momma liked him and made it clear that what I did was silly. I don't know if its b/c we think the same about many things. I don't know if its b/c he reminds me a lot of my dad (which is weird that that would be a positive thing in and of itself). Maybe its b/c I have some unrealistic idea of what it would feel and be like to be his lady. But then again, I don't know if its b/c I feel as if I can't REALLY have him. Can someone always have a hold on you even when you're dating or married to someone else? I feel so flighty in the man department...and I feel like a dumb a$$ when dealing with Mack. Like my granny used to say...one of us needs to either shyt or get off the pot. And certainly that person has to be me.

More on my trip to the bottom of the map later...or maybe not.