shellfish blues

"...so that means no shellfish."

**crickets...followed by HARD gas face to the receiver**

"But Doc, I'M FROM LOUISIANA!!! And I'm going back home next week!"

**laughs in dismissal mode**

"Well, I'll have the medication at the front desk for you to pickup and I need for you to schedule more labwork in 3 months."

**mouth goes dry**

"OK."

I then hung up the phone ever-so-gently...right before I cussed him and his maw out. And the mother of ALL cuss words kept resurfacing in between thoughts of this...

and this...





and MOST importantly, this...

Naw bruh...I had already made a date to get my char.broiled oysters as soon as I got off the plane next week. I will take the meds, I will exercise every-dayum-day the week after, but I'm getting my char.broiled oysters!

Overall, my labwork came back normal, excluding my somewhat high cholesterol and my anemia. The latter didn't even phase me when he said it b/c anemia is the story of my life. Me and iron pills kinda have this "b.u.d.d.y" relationship...ya know, I only use them to feel good temporarily but we're no where near serious about each other. And the only time that I was good about taking my iron pills was when I was pregnant, b/c there was another life dependent on it. So after I finished my eye roll at that honorable mention, I focused on what this evil doctor said that I shouldn't have in my diet. I believe that I became a bit misty-eyed at the thought, b/c this is a lifestyle change that I wasn't ready for. He threw in the meds for good measure b/c he didn't want to wait for my new diet to take affect.

So while I'm digesting all of this, I decide to return my aunt's call(s) and give her the update. She has been concerned ever since she saw the cyanosis near my ankles. And now, she doesn't want me to be on those pills for a long time, so she started schooling me on what I need to do. As if my head weren't spinning enough, she told me that she has a good friend, whose daughter just had a stroke and is now presumed brain dead. This young woman's age...30. Her child's age, 4.

And that's when things got real.

So I made some goals...not certain how unrealistic they are. Me and JJ (when he returns) are going to be on a new program. I got double-teamed, so it looks as if J will be playing flag football this fall. Somewhere within our schedules, we will be hiking the nearby hills at least 5 days out of the week and I guess that I'll invest in some exercise video for the nasty days that are a-coming. I have been on a roll so far and now, the hills don't hardly bother me as much...the run-over raccoons are another story. Be that as it may, I just plan on maintaining the momentum. I have already researched low-cholesterol diets on the internet and plan to gather some recipes to support my healthy lifestyle. As long as they incorporate feta cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, and garlic in some way, I can do this with a big Celie grin!

By December, I plan to:

(1) Be off the pills. I'll probably always have to take my iron supplements but I want my cholesterol lowered to the point where I don't need no stinking pills.

(2) See a significant difference in the bruising near my ankles.

(3) Look like Be.yonce below the waist and show off a six-pack. The LAST thing that I want to do is lose weight, so I hope to redistribute it...and get some thighs that I can pinch the tails off of crawfish with in the process.

So where did #3 come from? I don't really know. I guess that I'm just trying to preserve both my outer and inner sexy...while somehow sneaking in a shellfish or 12.