sights and sounds of the N.O.

parlaying at a jazz lounge

Shan (4 y/o niece): I need to call my manager. **picking up old cell phone**

Me: Manager? Why are you calling your manager?

Shan: 'Cuz I need to get my money. **talking in phone** Hello, I need MY MONEY NOW!

Me: Hunh? **Shouting to everyone in the house** What ya'll in here teaching this girl?

old school jazz

Scene: My boy came over late one night. We sat on my dad's couch and started clowning each other until 2 in the morning.

Shawn: I have no love for Prince fans! You prolly ain't thought nothing about Mike until now!

Me: That's a lie. I was just reenacting all the dance moves from his videos with my friends on my bday. The one that you failed to acknowledge.

Shawn: N*gguh, please! You don't know nothing 'bout no Thrill.er.

Me: Do you know who directed the video?

Shawn: Mar.tin Scor.sese?

Me: Naw!

Shawn: Then who???

Me: DEEZ NUTZ!!!

**dapping each other...we have a 6-year ongoing game and I was crowned that night...childish, maybe so, lol**

the 4th - dad tending to the q

Dad: **walking in the livingroom with his shirt off, patting gut** Boy, if your girlfriends were here now, they'd probably pass out looking at my "case".

Me: Your case? Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

Dad: Ya know how some men have 6-packs...well, I got a whole "case" for 'em.
Me: **laughing and shuddering at the same time**

visiting TU

Scene: Sitting at the dinner table with the fam.

Dad: I'm gonna need one of ya'll to go and pick up J tomorrow...I got jury duty.

Everyone: **looking puzzled**

Step-mom: Do they know you got PTSD? You need to show them your papers so you can get out of it.

Dad: **being stubborn** That wasn't listed on the form for me to be dismissed.

Me: Dad, my momma got out for hemm.orhoids, SURELY, telling them you're a little "off" will get you THROWN out.

Dad: **getting agitated** It ain't gon' work!

Step-mom: Well just DAYUM! I sure as hell wouldn't want you on my case...what are the court systems coming to?

Everyone **throwing up hands**

Next day...

8:00: Dad leaves for court.

9:15: Dad returns from court.

Me: What are you doing back so soon.

Dad: Yeah, they told me I was too damn crazy to serve!

these tiny streetcars can be found around the city

Scene: Dad and I are talking about our frustrations with past employment.

Me: Dad, sometimes I feel as if I'm damned if I do or damned if I don't. I spoke up about things and I feel as if it came back to bite me. I'm still a little bitter.

Dad: I know, baby. Sometimes things happen like that. **rolling back in chair** I remember when I was on the railroad and this man started cussing and carrying on and at first, I was calm. But then he put his finger in my face and told me what all I was going to do...**motioning with his hands and talking through clenched teeth**...so when I had my hands around his m*****f****** neck, ya know, people actually looked at me like the sh*t was on me!
**somehow that made me feel better, lol**

in the UC at TU...getting comfy

Scene: Catching up with my girlfriends over dinner, my road dawgs back in college.

E: Ya'll, it has been so long since we all got together.

Me: I know...the last time I saw Keke, her a$$ was on HGTV wearing a damn evening gown when they displayed her new room. Next time warn a sista before I just "happen" to see you on tv.

Keke: Speaking of warnings...ya'll remember when ya girl almost got us all shot up outside the Troll.ey Stop.

E: I believe that was you.

Me: And your funky attitude. In fact, there was no warning. All I saw were ya'll running to the truck while I was talking to some random dudes. I could've been shot up.

Keke: Yeah, those were some good times, hunh? **laughing**

me and my beautiful OLDER sis, lol

Scene: I was lounging around the house with my scarf on my head before I decided to take it off.

Shan (4 y/o niece): What happened to all yo' hair?

Me: I cut it.

Shan: It looks soft.

Me: Well, I'm trying to be like you. **admiring her 4 thick ponytails while getting ready to put my scarf back on**

Shan: Leave it off. I like it.

**heart warmed b/c 4 y/os can be some huge critics**

dad and the grandkids

Scene: Squeezing onto recliner with J.

Me: J, do you miss VA?

J: Yeah.

Me: What do you miss?

J: Our house...my room.

Me: Yeah, I miss your room too.