enough already!

I have been so stressed lately. I have my ways of decompressing and have been trying to employ them at every chance that I get. I love to hole myself up in my house and read or get started on a new project to take my mind off of the guy at work whose coffee mug I want to slap out of his hand just to see the startled look on his face, for example. Or I watch HGTV to stop thinking about the guy who loves to jingle his change as he walks down the hallway, the same change that I want to put in a bag and beat him with. I sip ginger ale in a wine glass to keep from wanting to flip over a couple of people's tables or give someone special the finger every time he asks me about my kid. So yes, I know that I'm stressed b/c 90% of the time I spend at work, I'm smiling. Violent thoughts, not so much. It's this 10% that reminds me that I was never easily angered, but I've always been easily annoyed.

What's weird is that when I had obligations at my old church, a standing appointment with my Bishop, and when I was running J to both karate practice and t-ball games, I didn't feel as burnt out as I do now. I was supposed to go to Nags.Head this week, but decided that it would be in my best interest to not go. So with that weight lifted, I was free to commence decompression...until my cuz asked me to babsit her baby and her stepchild this Saturday. I don't have a problem with my baby girl but that 'tween and I have had words before and laying the smack down was not on my list of things to do. I planned to have brunch and hang out with Goth Girl. I had a baby shower to attend that afternoon, but that's as good as nixed, which is fine b/c I already passed off my gift. And my cuz's husband's initial sermon and ordination is on Sunday...which I wasn't that excited about going to for reasons that I don't care to examine in depth but felt that I should support. So basically, they have my weekend. But then she reminds me that my baby cuz is getting christened next Sunday, on her 1st birthday. To which I said ok. Yet she says, well I was thinking about having something for Baby E on NEXT Saturday too. And then I'm thinking, DAYUM WOMAN, my life does not revolve around ya'lls family! They WILL NOT get 2 weekends. And just when I thought I broke free, I checked my schedule to see that I had already committed to a pool party and had items to bring. And now I'm sitting and wondering how in the hell did I get here? Especially when my main obligation is in the N.O. until the end of August.

And what's sad is that both mine and Promance's schedules are so packed that we have to sit next to each other, clicking through our Outlook calendars trying to find common available days just to breathe, let alone, check out this list of hole-in-the-walls that I wanted to go to. We both have pressing projects and I feel as if someone at work has always got their foot on my neck.

I think that a great deal of my frustration has to do with my choosing to listen to a bunch of my friends' crazy situations this week and I just can't take it anymore. I'm gonna have to schedule another pottery painting or go get a massage quickly b/c I'm feeling like someone's unknowingly about to catch a foot in their throat.

This Ginger Ale just isn't strong enough.