crushin'

Here's my plate! I'm somewhat happy with how it came out, but I could have done better with the sunflowers.

Unfortunately, it doesn't fit in my cabinet, but it plays nicely with my Target dishes and pitcher-turned-flower vase. But if anyone would like to fill my dusty glass-front cabinets with something...ANYTHING colorful, then holla at ya girl.

Ok, on to the story...

I think that I might have a crush...and this needs to cease expeditiously, lol.

This past week has been a busy one both professionally and personally. I have been in need of some serious "me" time. Maybe b/c I'm an only child, I value my "me" time more than anything...and I can get kinda weird about not calling or talking to people for a few days. I was so excited to find a cheap bistro set at Home De.pot, that I sat outside on my porch today and had some ice cream as I thought some things over.

Honestly, I can't wait until my baby comes back, so we can sit out there and have our Cheerios on a sunny Saturday morning. Did I mention that I miss him?

Anyway, so I was having lunch with Tee on Thursday as we debated on whether or not I was dating Promance vs. just hanging out. I figured that since he didn't touch me, then it didn't constitute as a date. But when she asked, "If he DID kiss you, would you resist?", I just hit her with the dazed and confused look. And I am so mad that I didn't have an answer...or at least, mad that I lacked the ingenuity to properly insert the gas face at this moment regardless of what I was really thinking.

I CANNOT have a crush on this dude for so many reasons and I probably wouldn't even be giving 2 thoughts to it, had Promance not blurted out to Tee and Bruh-coworker (as we were in mid-argument, mind you), "Hey, did you tell them about the movie that we saw last night?" If looks could kill, we would either be spreading his ashes across the Ja.mes River or he would still be in ICU right about now. He can certainly silence a room b/c we were all giving each other the hard 5-second stare down until Tee says, "Oh, so ya'll went on a date?" I was already in pi$$ed mode, so I cut her off and said, "No, we were just hanging out." Then Promance laughs, shows off his dimples, and says, "Oh no, it was a date. We had dinner and a movie. I mean, we've gone out before"...as if that was the right thing to say. I couldn't look at Bruh-coworker's jaw grace the ground any longer, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom. All I heard as I was walking away is "she's embarrassed now."

When I first met Promance, I.could.not.stand.him. He just seemed like one of those frat boys that thinks that the world revolves around him. He's the KING of first dates, but very rarely do I hear tale of a second, as he blames that on his being picky. I always thought that he was kinda cute, as I am a sucker for dimples. But for the first few months, he was so daggone annoying that it wouldn't even matter if he looked like Com.mon. His mic was getting turned off on the daily. But somewhere between then and now, he grew on me. He has shared many personal things with me. Then I started having a couple of naughty dreams about him that I quickly pushed towards the back of my mind. So, I guess we've gotten closer without my even realizing it. We like a lot of the same things, have similar goals and are in agreement on a lot of subjects. The problem is that not only do we work together, the only thing that separates Promance and I is 1/2 of a partition. When no one's looking, we'll whisper things back and forth (like a broke a$$ Tim "the Toolman" Taylor and Wilson on Home Improve.ment) but when everyone is tuned in, we put on a show. I don't think that a day goes by without my telling him to "shut up" or "kick rocks." Yet and still, he was a topic of discussion when I was dating Jes.se...perhaps b/c Promance is actually my age. If only he were black...

And so, we've hung out a few times. But each time seemed so awkward. Most certainly the attraction is there as he has made it known, but he has never given me the impression that he actually liked me in the romantic sense. When we've hung out, he barely touches me. When we went to see "Wan.ted" (which was a very fun and exciting movie, btw), I kept covering my eyes during certain parts and squirming in my seat. And once I finally rested on the shared armrest, I noticed that he started biting his nails. I swatted at him, as I usually do, and he says, "I can't help it, you're making me nervous."

And the thought of my actually having a crush makes me nervous.

But this would never work. I have already filled my quota of dating men at the office. One too many of those and you become the J.Ho of the cubicles. Plus, I'm sure that he has never dated a black woman and I'm also sure that he would have a problem with dating women with children...2 things that I obviously cannot hide and would happily let someone go on their merry way if they had a problem with it. But would I dodge him, if he kissed me? I would go with the flow out of curiosity. But then again, curiosity has bitten me in my hindparts before...a little too recently, if I may add.

So, I'm thinking that he just enjoys my company...as I do his from time to time. If this is a crush, it can't hurt, right? I'm sure that he'll say something rather asinine and I'll be over it by next week.