purple reign

So, its a big day for the kid...who went from being a skeleton to Ana.kin Sky.walker. (I think that it was the light saber that tipped the scales.) But it ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none. Last night, I said goodbye to the blogger formerly known as LB.



DEUCES!

And today...

Said hello to the artist currently known as Prince (circa '84) aka the best that ever did it!

GAME, BLOUSES!

(You too can achieve this look with Lotta Body setting lotion and goo-gobs of eyeliner. I would like to thank the misguided buyers at New.port News for actually thinking that this blouse was envogue!)

Now, Murphy's Law states that on the one day that I am dressed like a man...EVA...albeit an androgenous man...is the same day that I meet the hottest guy...EVA...on the whole dayum planet, whose love for power tools would come at a close...but not questionable...second to his love for me. I'm talking...this guy takes sexy to a new level AND can build a mean deck in my backyard...yep, today would be the PERFECT day to meet him.

**cough, cough...choking on sarcasm**

Anyways, here's to stomping out fantasies in my high heel boot and ensuring that I won't get asked out until the end of the winter season or the image of me possibly having testicles has been erased from any/every man's memory...whichever comes first.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN...let's get it!

naturally 7

I think that I am an official groupie.




Naturally 7 on YouTube

spunk kills

Scene: I walk into work and speak to one of my favorites in the office, who occupies the cube behind mine. Ron, a widower, is in his late 40s or early 50s...just as cute and sweet as he wants to be. He has 3 of the most darling and polite young boys that I have ever met. Anyway, Ron has been courting this lady, who isn't that much older than me, and I just love to hear him talk about how enamored he is with her. He has yet to tell her how he feels.

LB: Hey Ron! How was your date?

Ron: Well, we had to reschedule.

LB: Awwww, I was really looking forward to some juicy details, since I live vicariously through you now.

Ron: Don't say that. Yeah, I was looking forward to it too, but Pam's grandmother died so she's a little preoccupied.

LB: Wow, I'm sorry to hear that.

Ron: She was 80 y/o.

LB: So, natural causes?

Ron: About as natural as her feeling a little frisky and wanting to entice her husband into bed. One night while standing by the staircase, she lifted up her nightgown to flash him and then fell backward and broke her hip. She died shortly after surgery due to complications.

LB: **blank stare** You're serious?

Ron: **controlled snicker...barely maintaining composure** I sure am.

LB: **snicker slips out and guilt hovers over** Dag! I can only hope that I have that much spunk when I'm 80 y/o

...and that I'm living in a rancher.

May she rest in peace...

sunday at may.mont

So if you close one eye and squint really hard with the other one...in the dark...right before you go to sleep, I kinda uh...favor, Beyon.ce, lol. Here are some pics of me and my baby frolicking in the park. I am getting rather bold with my picture posting, so this may be it for a while.

monday mind dump

I'm kicking it with the kid today. It's one of those teacher training days, so the students were given a 3-hour early release. This would be cool if J's daycare wasn't closed today as well. I should be working hard, but I'm hardly working. I have to do a site visit for a reno project tomorrow, so I should (at the least) be knee-deep in existing floor plans. But I've been feeling kinda blah for the past few days. So I might intermingle work with that episode of The Ga.me (that I missed b/c the CW keeps changing air times), a few episodes of the Boon.docks (still wondering when in the hizell Season 3 is slated to start), and maybe an episode or 2 of The Hi.lls (I keep getting sidetracked when this show is on). I got enough leftovers, Twizz.lers, Ginger Ale, and Orange-Pineapple juice to carry me through this intense day of...uh, working.

Speaking of working, 'tis the season to count your blessings. The company Prez gave us a pep talk about the economic crisis on Friday. He said that we may have lean months ahead but that we're in a good position b/c kids will have to be educated and the convicted (in most cases) will be jailed (schools and correctional facilities are our specializations). I previously blogged about not being moved by the crisis. I still feel as if I have job security; however, I have more friends that didn't survive the second round of layoffs at my old job. I cannot help but be affected by that. I'm also feeling less optimistic about the financial goals that I wanted to attain during this quarter and the next. The Prez warned of us getting our financial houses in order...and well, he didn't have to tell me that, but I think that I may have to tighten up the purse strings a little more just so that I can sling more money towards my savings during this time. I feel pretty confident with my decision to not touch my 401K and other investments. I think that my concern is that if I pull out now, no one gives you the green light to take advantage of the upswing (when it comes) until after the fact. And I fear locking in my losses.

Despite the polls, this upcoming election concerns me as well. I will do my part, but I'm sitting here, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think that this presidential race has brought out both the best and worst in people. I just don't have as much confidence that a country that has voted Bush for a second term will make an unbiased decision based on facts. I fear seeing "Quay.le's sister from another mister" possibly take over in the event that something happens to "that OTHER one". Then again, maybe I'm biased. I just hope that I'm wrong.

In other news, J and I had a mini-photo shoot at the Japa.nese Gar.dens at May.mont park yesterday. I fell in love with May.mont ever since I went there with Tatted Up...I don't think that I have written about him on here, but he is certainly not important enough to write about now. Anyway, I thought that this park would be the perfect backdrop for our family pics this year. I got this young dude at work (who wants to be a photo-journalist) to take some pics of us (on the cheap) while skipping about the koi fish and standing in front of waterfalls. I may post some when I get them, that is, if I get bold enough. I'm sure that EVERYONE would agree that I look like Beyon.ce on some of them...ya know, if you closed one eye and squinted HARD with the other one. This shoot lifted my spirits a little bit...especially considering how goofy J is (he gets that from his daddy, lol).

Well, I guess that I've wasted enough time...I must do some work watch my shows.

the 3rd barber on the left aka the 5th one

I can't see too well and I may be hard of hearing but I can smell bull ish a mile away.

So everyone knows that during the summers, I am a free woman. My baby goes back home to the N.O. while I pretend as if I have no responsibilities for 3 months. I was explaining to the barbers, at the shop that I take J to, that we would be MIA until September. Now, the older man cuts J's hair but I'm pretty cool with 5 of them. I talk to the older guy about politics, the wannabe-black-guy about how Kanye can murder 50 Cent any day of the week with his lyrics, the shorter guy about why I don't have a man, and the one in the back about lawn care. We pretty much run the gamut of subjects during my 1 hour visit. Anyway, the 4 barbers that I mentioned are married (but 2 of them give me the impression that they would be single for one night with me). The 5th one (that I have yet to mention) is the only single guy in the place...if only he looked like Micheal Ealy, I would be in business. However, he ACTS as if he's on top of his game b/c he claims to have women all around the globe...ya know, regular barbershop bull ish.

The 5th one has been giving off rhythm since the 1st day that I took J there about a year and a half ago. But I classify barbers with construction workers...they will holla at anybody that walks by. He has been intrigued by my being from the N.O. and was shocked to learn that I actually have a brain, to accompany my cute face, when I told him what I do for a living. He seems to be most impressed by the fact that I don't have a weave...why that's considered impressive is beyond me. So when I said that I wouldn't be back until September, he gave me his number and asked that I call him so that he can provide me with some company while my baby was gone.

I wasn't going to call, but Tee convinced me that there was no harm in getting a cup of coffee with someone. I think that her main concern was that I had thrown in the towel after Jesse, who's a dumbass (just in case anyone wanted to know)...and she witnessed his dumbassery and perhaps thought that I would not recover unless I got back out there and did a couple of trial runs. I got enough practice with Promance, minus the pressure.

I call a few days later. We talked briefly. We were supposed to go out but then I got tied up with other engagements and before I knew it, a month and a half had gone by. I, then, called him to arrange dinner. He pretended as if he didn't know who I was. That was cool, but when I said my name, he really laid it on thick...as if he was searching his mental rolodex to figure out who I was. I thought that he was joking but he didn't laugh once. I got annoyed and was done. This negro bought me chocolates for Valentine's Day...and now he has selective amnesia. Cool. I wasn't mad. I just wasn't interested.

Even if "the 5th one" didn't have my name saved in his phone (which I don't believe), the 504 should've tipped him off. I figured that he was so-called paying me back for not jocking him from jump.

I go into the shop last night, having my usual convo with the barbers. But this time, my phone kept ringing, so I stepped outside to talk a few times while I waited for J to get in the chair. The 5th one goes in the back and starts calling me from an unknown number. He said, "I'm watching you and I just wanted to tell you all of the things that I want to do to you." Seriously, I did not recognize his voice and the number wasn't saved in my phone but it was an 804 area code, so the person had to know me. When I asked him who he was, he just told me to call him back when I left the loud place that I was in and hung up. I don't play with stalkers. I've been stalked by men and women and its not a sexy feeling nor is it funny. Then while I'm paying for J's haircut, I get a text talking 'bout how good I look today and if I'm "scurred" then I should say so. After much wasted time, he calls me back a few hours later to id himself.

So much for not knowing who I am. I'm just happy to be right. I'm not a hard-ass! He's still getting igged though.

happy is as happy does

SPRING FORWARD, FALL BACKWARD

Don't you just LOVE fall?! I can identify with the season...we're both straight breezy. The acorns are beating up my roof, while the leaves are falling to the ground. But guess what? My leaves are falling on my NEW GRASS. Hells yeah!!!

**LB singing, "Laaaaaaa, laaa, la, la...wait til' I get my lawn care right. Laaaaaa, laaa, la, la...then you can't tell me nothing right. 'Scuse me, is you saying something? Ah, uh, you can't tell me noth..." Kan.ye snatches mic.**

Of course, the lawn still has a ways to go. But I'm sure my neighbors watch me and J through their windows as we stand and marvel at the sea of green blades for 5 minutes before I unlock the door. I think that we're both in disbelief that after a year's time that this is even possible. But now, we actually have a view when we have our cheerios on the front porch.

I have to make my way over to Micha.el's and pick up some fall/halloween decorations. I'm on a very tight budget, so we may be limited to some styrofoam pumpkins that J and I can doctor up and place on my steps.

YOU MUST PURIFY YOURSELF IN THE WATERS OF LAKE MINNE.TONKA

J wants to be a skeleton this year. I'm shocked, but that's a pretty inexpensive costume so I'm down. It looks like I'm FINALLY going to be Prince for Halloween. I was originally gonna pick up a costume from Party Ci.ty (think Cleo.patra) and just fade into the background like last year...although I didn't really fade into the background b/c I was a Greek Goddess and it drew more attention than I thought it would. But apparently, royal purple must be the new black b/c New.port News has a lot of clothing in that color, so I ordered some velvet pants, a blazer, some boots, and a white ruffled shirt to top it off. I'm going to borrow J's guitar and walk around with it strapped to my shoulder. The trick will be in curling my hair to match Prince (circa '84) on the cover of Pur.ple Rain and doing my eyes up really pretty...oh, and carefully sketching in a light mustache. I'm kinda excited about honoring THE best that ever did it. If only I can convince a dude to dress up as Appoloni.a or Van.ity.

WHO'S HOUSE? HELL'S HOUSE

My old church does a play every Hallo.ween, called Hell Hou.se. It's similar to walking through a haunted house but in each room, there is a different life situation acted out. The purpose is to scare young people straight and to bring souls to Chr.ist. Well, when I participated in it 2 years ago, I was only supposed to be a nurse in an abor.tion clinic. However, (you know how church folks are) I got stuck playing the main character having the abortion. Let me tell ya...that mess wasn't fun. All that screaming made me lose my voice and then I caught a serious cold and was miserable. The only highlight of the play was that I had a scene with Choir Boy, who played Je.sus. I barely remembered my lines b/c he's so pretty. Anyway, this lady from my old church started calling my home and cell phones all crazy b/c she wants me to reprise my role. Had it been anyone else, they would've been met with a swift "HELL NAW!" I told her that I had too much going on for the month but that I would get back to her. Church folks will...use...you. And I don't care how pretty Choir Boy is...I'm gonna pass on this one.

THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Every year, I participate in a run/walk in honor/memory of my mom. Last year, I did the walk with my cuz and J. Both of them got tired in 5 minutes, so I power-walked to the finish line alone. Only to find them already there, snacking and smiling. They had apparently cut the course b/c 3-5 miles was too much for them. This year, it looks like my team is 5 strong. I'm hoping to recruit some more before the 19th. In the meantime, I look forward to the event. To be surrounded by hundreds of survivors and their loved ones does my heart good. I hope that I can raise a decent amount of money this year. I set the team goal rather low, so we'll see.

TO THE MOON, ALICE, TO THE MOON

Yep, that's right...the honeymoon is over. The company has been in the new spot for about a week and a half now. For the most part, I can't complain. However, they have me sharing a space with this guy, whom I can only stand in small doses. He tore his draws with me when I was on the phone one morning and he had the gall to swivel around in his chair and ask me who I was talking to. I had to blink twice before I politely responded, "Nunya." I forgot about the huge difference between dating someone and living with them, so if left alone, partnah was about to be knocked unconscious with a water bottle...an empty water bottle. Do the math and see how in the hell THAT can happen. I do not like it when people invade my space. I can be the sweetest person in the world...but I can be funny about my space. On top of that, there is this part-time inter.ior des.gner, who moved her computer to my side of the table and then had the nerve to tell me that she may need some of my shelves. This broad works 4 hours a week...you gets no shelves, homie. She got the blank stare as my catalogs STAYED on the shelf in question. And as of today, this guy (who has come out of retirement) brought all of his drawings back in my area. Then I started wondering, "How in the hell did I get stuck back here with a bunch of part-timers and CAD techs.

Technically, we were supposed to wait 30 days before we request to be moved. But I couldn't take the chance of them hiring more people and taking up all of the good cubes. I went straight to one of the principals. Now, I can play the game with the best of 'em. He thought that he had satiated me with his "I'll look into it" response. I decided to become a pest. Then, it seemed as if he wanted to give me the run-around. So, I went to my immediate supervisor...and just in case he decided to brush me off, I reminded his a$$ again that I wasn't going to let this die without a fight. I got the email by the close of business stating, "your request has been approved." Fugging right it's been approved! I didn't bust my a$$ for 5 years to advance anybody else's career but my own...and I've most certainly worked hard enough for 3 friggin' walls. If I didn't get the desired results, I was going to talk much sh*t at my annual review. A lot of times in the engin.eering field, it's a man's world. Well now, I'm going to be in my own little world. I might just have a Ma.rdi Gra.s themed cube-warming. Bustas!

PBS

I think that I'm going to have to scrape my pennies together for a minor cosmetic indulgence...microdermabrasion.

It took nearly all 30 of my years of existence to embrace my femininity. I guess that I can credit my cuz and S23/S30 with that. I don't remember owning as many dresses (which still isn't VERY many) as I do now. I only bought pumps and whatnot from Pay.less back in the day. And even then, I thought that a person only needed one pair of black shoes and one pair of brown shoes to cover their whole "dressy" wardrobe. My cuz has since banned me from the Pay.less parking lot...I believe that she may have even threatened my life in a less-than-Chris.tian way. Otherwise, as long as I had a fresh pair of Nikes and some clean white kicks, I was straight. (I'm laughing at how I placed all of my $5 shoes on a high rack in my closet, right before I evacuated from the N.O. I was HOT when we were finally allowed to inspect our properties after Katrin.a and I saw that whole shelf, collapsed onto the floor and surrounded by sludge-encrusted shoes. I cussed the devil. My cuz, on the other hand, thought that it was divine intervention and seized the opportunity to "make me over").

The 2 things that I couldn't maintain were hair appointments and mani-pedis. I had a hard time finding a hairdresser that will actually LISTEN to what I want and do it. The one that I had back home used to do the damn thang...hadn't found anyone as talented ever since. So, I do my own relaxers, roller wraps, trims, and highlights. My cuz is more "ghetto sheik" than I am, so she entrusts that to a professional. I only get mani-pedis on special occasions and they have to be VERY special. I think that I only did it once last year and have yet to have them done again. If I could afford the paraffin wax pedicure on a weekly basis, I would.

But now I have a new love.

So I hang with Tee a lot. Tee is 41 y/o, but you would never know it unless she told you. I've always thought that she had the prettiest skin that I'd ever seen and just resolved that that kind of skin doesn't run in my fam and I just need to accept it. But she recently passed me the info to the chick that does her microdermabrasion treatments. I was shocked that her peanut butter smooth skin was even attainable.

I met with the chick this morning. She said that I already had good skin to begin with. I thought that the lighting in the room must've been too dim, but I swallowed the complement. I know what effect I want, I just need to know how do I attain it. After the consultation, I decided to try out my first treatment. I must say, there was some discomfort. Afterall, she was scraping away all of my dead skin. But once she was done, I felt so refreshed and I haven't been able to stop touching my cheeks. This isn't cheap, but its certainly worth the outcome. Microdermabrasion minimizes pores, evens skin tone, and counters the effects of sun damage and aging. Personally, the result lasts longer than any mani-pedi would. So, she's won me over and it looks like I have a new budget item...for the time being.

By December, everyone can refer to me by my new nickname...PBS (peanut butter smooth).

when keeping it real goes wrong

I must say, I cannot believe that I was actually tagged to do something. But even bigger than that, to be issued the "Certified Honest Blogger" award by the fella waaayyyyyy ova dere in the Cheap Seats is...is...is...hmmm...well, it just doesn't seem right, lol. The planets must have shifted for me to be recognized for anything in the blog world. For one, I write exactly how I talk...with typos...and minus the "I was like"s. I don't really write anything prolific or profound and the only thoughts that my blog MAY provoke are whether or not I am slightly "touched" or "deep off the pages," as Leezarus would say. I don't know who lurks, who reads, or who's passing through to simply use my links. I just write about me b/c spending the day talking about myself to my friends would render me...friendless.

But anyway...

The rules that accompany it are as follows:

# When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

# Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

# Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog’.

# Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).

# List [if you can and or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself.

# And then, pass it on.

LET'S GET IT:

1. I'm not really feeling men right now...what else is new? And men aren't really trying to feel me unless they can actually "feel" me.

2. I don't like it when people make comments about my weight. I would love to say, "I'm not slim just to make you feel bad." Weight comments should be off-limits...overweight, underweight, or otherwise.

3. I swat at people who bite their nails, but I will crack my knuckles all day, everyday.

4. If you have a dirty nose, I probably wouldn't be the one to tell you.

5. I haven't seen Suzie B in a grip and I have been doing well. I guess that I am not as "crooked" as I thought.

6. I'm patiently waiting on the following words to be retired: "boo", "chillaxin'", and "hatin'".

7. I can hold a grudge for about a year (give or take a couple of months), but it will lay dormant as long as I don't see you.

8. I want more kid(s), but its not looking too good for the home team.

9. I feel like I need to make a decision: either scrub my dishes or put them in the dishwasher. Doing both seems like a waste of water BUT I know that they're clean in the end. Germaphobe much?

10. I always look down (on the sly) when I'm walking...not b/c I'm shy or have low self-esteem. I have a fear of stepping in gum, spit, or something equally as nasty.

Fin

Now, I have to break the rules b/c I don't know many blog people. And the ones that I would tag, don't update enough for it to be worth it.

counting pennies for my thoughts

My watch tells me that I'm supposed to be a quarter past "worried". The news tells me that I should be panicking...in fact, every article that I have read on the internet has managed to sneak in the words "fear" and "crisis." But for some reason, I'm just not...moved. And at the looks of things, I probably should be.

The mutual fund for my baby's education has been on a steady decline...so has my other fund, which at this point, does not have as important of a purpose. I have been dipping into my savings account a lot recently to cover medical bills and "curb appeal" expenses. My 401K has been doing the sinusoidal wave thing and my house is in negative equity. On paper...and even after re-reading this paragraph...I should be rocking the hard, furrowed eyebrow. But in my mind, I'm covered. And this is not b/c I have money to spare. I just have faith.

The "right now" is not the issue. At least, not for me. It is my understanding that the market is cyclic. And albeit I'm "losing" money, I'm still taking advantage of the low costs and acquiring more shares. I'm no financial wizard, but I believe that this should prove profitable within the big picture...well before it is time to consider retirement. My baby has 11 more years before he graduates so that just means that I have enough time to stack some cash. Besides, I'm believing on a scholarship for him, so his money can go towards other non-pressing things. As far as my house is concerned, I have decided to table some of the more expensive home improvement projects that I had in mind. A house is an investment, but I bought a place that I love. In the meantime, (while I wait for the housing market to rebound) I will just enjoy being here. This is the perfect place for a homebody at heart.

Aside from that, I'm still banking on a sizable bonus, a generous raise, and a jaw-dropping tax return. Maybe I have been reading too many of those "I believe I can have it" books. But as for the "right now", the only things that I'm counting are my blessings.