seeing red

I just hate that I left that post up for a week with no follow-up...I don't mind being ghost for a week, but I'd rather go out on a happy-go-lucky-life-is-grand note. I think that the hardest thing to admit isn't necessarily that I started seeing a counsellor. It's actually harder to admit that I'm not as happy as I could be...or feel that I should be...to such a degree that I felt that I SHOULD see a counsellor. Part of me feels ashamed about that considering all of the positives in my life. I put it "out there", but it wasn't my intent to focus on that. My goal is to MOVE ON and MOVE UP. I thank all that commented for their essays comments...some teetering on the spiritual, some more clinical, all thought-provoking and helpful.

One of the reasons why I haven't blogged in a week has been b/c I have been sick with a capital S. It came on like a thief in the night. I was having a pretty good Tuesday. I had class that afternoon and once I got back to my desk, I saw a note from one of the VPs. His wife (who's from Biloxi) made some gumbo and he left some in the communal fridge for me. Hot dog!!! Peeps be on the lookout for a sista. I shared some with my work-husband, Promance, and everything was all good. Shortly after and not as a result of eating the gumbo, I felt as if I swallowed 10,000 knives. Earlier, I was feeling kinda "off", but the germs hadn't fully taken over until then. And by the next morning, you could stick a fork in me 'cuz I was done. I'm not sure if it was a common cold or the flu, but the kind of sick where my skin hurt. I felt EVERY movement in my sleep. I normally stick to one side of my bed but if I were sharing it with someone else, they would've been on the floor. Yes, the past 3 days have been a blur and how I managed to drop off/pick up JJ from school, nothing short of a miracle. Thank God I'm on the other side of THAT mountain b/c my dad, once again, reminded me of why I miss my mommy.

Me: Hey dad.

Dad: **cough, snort, cough**
Me: Are you sick too?
Dad: I got sumthin'...this whole change of weather and %^&*.
Me: Oh, I've been out of work for the past 3 days.
Dad: Uh, I left some Crown Royal on that top shelf in that closet in your kitchen.
Me: What am I s'posed to do with that?
Dad: I dunno, but that's what I've been drinking while I've been sick.

Anyways...

I also started a new project.

I woke up one morning and decided that I wanted a red wall. This is Ralph Lauren's Venetian Red. In the process, I discovered a new fave site, BeJane.Com, but painting a wall red is NOT for the faint of heart. I wish that I had known all of what I was about to go through before I took on this project, b/c I would've left that paint in the store. So far, I have painted my kitchen (mocha), my hallway (some cute and playful green), and my master bath (some soothing blue to match the stripe in my shower curtain)...as the spirit moved me. Not one of those projects took more than 2 coats, excluding my kitchen b/c I had this bright idea to do a colorwashing technique which was cool for about 3 days, but somewhere around the 4th, I couldn't take it anymore. But red is a whole 'nother animal. After 2 coats, I was becoming a bit worried...and then sickness settled in, which put off any subsequent coats until I felt as if I could stand up for long periods of time. Well, what you see is after coat number 5...and whether it looks done or not, it will have to do. I got some more touch-ups to do and hopefully, I can get it done soon (without having a relapse) so that I can get my Co to come over and move my TV and armoire back in its position. It would be kinda nice to have things back to normal for when my girlfriend from home comes up to visit me, the kid, and my not-so-sure-if-its-still-considered-country abode next weekend. Hell, I hope that I still like it next weekend.