A coworker walked by my desk, paused, and then backed up and said, "Wow, your hair looks different."
Acknowledging that "different" is not exactly a compliment, I just shook my head slowly.
I have been wearing my twists this week. I've actually worn my twists weeks at a time, but I very rarely see this coworker, in particular.
It's interesting how one's tastes change. This time, last year..."going natural" was no where near my radar. My hair was long and I loved my Saturday morning rituals that culminated with the roller wrap. I always felt like a new woman when I combed my wrap down and swung out my 'laxed hair.
The only time that I envied someone with natural hair was my bestie, who had been growing out her relaxer for 2 years and getting her chemically-straightened ends gradually cut off. Although she flat-ironed every couple of weeks (and sometimes shorter than that), her hair was the thickest that I had ever seen it. Aside from that, I associated natural hair with what I had seen my other friend sport for over 10 years. At times, it looked dry. At other times, simply unmanageable. It seemed that her puff was done moreso out of lack of motivation. You know what...to be honest, I only liked one natural style on her.
Sometimes I wonder what my mom would think. She didn't respond favorably when my friend decided to go natural back in the day. It's clear that my dad isn't feeling it...and I don't give a f-uh, moving on. (I STILL have yet to understand what his issue is when his wife has been faded up for years).
When my mom moved to N.O. from Cha.ttanooga, she wore an afro. I remember her telling me that as soon as she got to N.O., the women there said, "Oh no, honey, we straighten our hair here." And that was the end of her afro era. She was fried, dyed, and laid to the side, shortly after she had me...too bad that my dad didn't receive a similar memo about his scary jheri curl.
I didn't get my first relaxer until I was 12 y/o...and that was not without begging. I spent almost every Sunday before then getting my ears burned by hot combs and then witnessing my hair revert shortly after I bathed. If I ever got in trouble, that was considered to be a cardinal sin b/c of all the time put into straightening my hair. I figured that a relaxer would be the best of both worlds...I could have straight hair and I could bathe for 3 hours at a time (that's not exactly a good idea either, lol).
Since then, if I felt just one wave at the root, I rushed to get a touch-up. The only time that I broke from relaxing was when I was pregnant with J. My doctor didn't say it was necessary but I wanted to take every precaution. But once I spit him out and stopped breast-feeding, it was on and popping!
So, it's kind've interesting to me that, now, I have somewhat of a natural hair obsession. I remember saying that I would never wear twists in public. This week alone, I've had them pinned up, pinned back, dressed up, and dressed down. I just bought 2 hats to wear to style them up when I'm not at work. It has also helped to have the twists in when I was getting snowed on. And it's going to be wonderful to not have to do my hair while I'm snowed in. I may never remove my satin cap this weekend (except for when I throw it up in the air after that Superbowl win)!
I miss my wash n' gos and hope to get back to them soon. It's fascinating to see what I have been suppressing for all of these years. Maybe, springtime will be the time to revisit. I have no clue when I'm going to flat iron my hair. I used to think that that's all I would do. Tastes change. At first, I thought that I wanted to do it on my 1st year anniversary but since that's 2 days before my bday, that's not happening. I don't even want straight hair on my birthday...never thought that I'd say that. Simply put, it's been done before...several years before.
The only hurdle I have left to jump is the afro. I've picked my hair out once or twice and...stayed in the house. I see beautiful women with beautiful afros, but I just don't have the nerve yet. Maybe I will by the time my bday rolls around. We'll see.
'Going natural' has certainly tested my self esteem these past (almost) 8 months...especially when I had all of this other stuff going on in my life. But I can appreciate the journey and the test.
And I'm just happy to know that I passed.
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Have any faves? Share your favorite natural-haired youtubers and/or blogs.
And whether you're natural or not, what are your short and long term hair goals?
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