how soon is...

...too soon?

Unfortunately, J's little league Opening Day got postponed. It rained Thursday and Friday, so I kinda knew that it might be cancelled b/c of the grounds. Maybe that worked out to my benefit b/c I was planning on spreading my germs to everyone in the bleachers. Yes, I am sick AGAIN but I have been powering through.

Earlier in the week, J asked me if I would watch the Ki.d's Choi.ce awards with him on Saturday night...but it was funny, b/c he used the fact that Za.c Efr.on would make an appearance as a way to entice me. Yes, I am too grown to be into the Hig.h Scho.ol Music.al trilogy and probably too too grown to salivate after that 18 y/o boy. I seem to be losing my edge b/c I thought that HSM3 was one of the best movies that I had seen in '09, lol. When I start panting hard after those Jo.nas Bro.thers, then I beg you...any of you...to have me committed, seriously. I just don't get J's musical tastes but oh well. I digress...I was already sold on the deal b/c Dwa.yne John.son was hosting the show and I have been wanting to do things to that man ever since WWE was WWF.

**wipes mouth** lawdhavmercyjesusandmaryandem...

So, what was I saying? Oh, right...

Tee asked me to babysit her 12 y/o daughter...let's call her Princess. Apparently Tee and B are back together b/c she went with him to some concert in DC and asked if Princess could spend the night with me. I was fine with that, b/c unlike babysitting my baby cuz Lady Ed.en a couple of weeks ago, I knew that Princess wasn't going to snot, slobber, or hand me food that she decided wasn't worth chewing anymore. In other words, I can be sick and keep up with a 12 y/o. Plus, Tee doesn't have cable so Princess was excited to see the Ki.ds Choi.ce awards too. We ordered pizza and were good to go!

After all the hoopla and while J was in his room, Princess says, "I don't mean to get all in your business and everything, but how did J take it when you got divorced?"

I swallowed hard for a second b/c that question caught me off guard. I had to choose my words carefully. I have no problem with saying that I had J outside of wedlock, but I have a problem with saying that to a 12 y/o girl. Yet, I don't want to lie...not even by omission.

Me: Well, J's dad and I weren't married.

Princess: I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Me: It's cool. But to answer your question, J doesn't have any memories of his dad and I together b/c he was a baby.

I made a mental note to tell Tee about my admission. Whereas J and I are doing better than fine; Princess needs to know that children should be had within the sanctitiy of marriage. She should know that already. But then I started thinking. Tee's divorce hadn't been final that long...I'm not even sure if its been 2 years yet. But she has been dating B for over a year and is now engaged.

So I asked, "How are you taking your parent's divorce?"

Princess: **teary-eyed** Well, I didn't know that they were thinking about it until I heard them arguing at my aunt's house and I just remember my mom saying that she didn't want to go back to my dad.

Me: Do you still want them to be married?

Princess: **wiping a tear** Yes, I think about it. I mean, it doesn't even matter now, b/c my dad is seeing some woman that he doesn't want me to meet yet and my mom is now engaged to B.

I felt so bad. I saw a lot of myself in Princess. We're both only children. I was around the same age when my parents got divorced. I was different in the sense that I was happy that it happened b/c I was tired of coming home to the same foolishness. And I didn't have any memories of my parents ever being happy with each other (excluding the fake smiles seen on vacation pics). So either they would have to change their behavior after so many years or part ways. As unrealistic as the former was, I accepted the latter. If nothing else, I valued peace by any means necessary.

But I DO remember when my mom started dating again...or rather, when she allowed me to know that she'd started dating again. I had some time to get somewhat adjusted to the idea. Granted, I wanted my mom to be happy but her men got the hard stare for a while b/c I didn't know what their intentions were.

B is a nice guy. Marriage material, I don't know. But from what I see, he does treat Tee very well. I think that Tee has every right to be happy and shouldn't put her life on hold. Now, her and B believe in PDA. It makes Princess uncomfortable when they kiss in front of her. Heck, it makes ME uncomfortable when they kiss in front of me...to the point where I choose not to hang with them as much. But Tee dismissed it when Princess brought it up. Tee said that she was finally happy so Princess was just going to have to be uncomfortable.

So how soon is too soon? Do you handle kids with kid gloves after a divorce?

random

Hello...**taps mic** anybody there??? **taps mic** is this thing on?

I'm trying to get back into this blogging rhythm...

So baseball season for the boy has started. He now plays for the Astros in the Rookie Division. I can tell you one thing...J got heart. He probably has more heart than he has game, but every day I learn something new about his personality and I become more and more honored to be his mom.

Last Saturday, he took a hard baseball blow to the eye and the coach took him out of practice to sit on the sidelines with a bag of ice. He was trying to "man up", but I could see "upset" written all over his face.

I said, "J, it's gonna be ok, man. It'll feel better.

He said, "I just want to keep on going."

This little dude didn't care if his eye swole shut, he was gon' be the one-eyed ballplayer in the bunch, if the coach let 'em. In the end, he was fine.

Life has certainly knocked the wind out of me a time or 5. Do you keep on wailing about it or do you keep on going? Man up.

...

Me: Hey dad, I just called to tell you that J did well on his Sta.r Stud.ent presentation.

Dad: **smile evident in his voice** oh yeah?

Me: I made 24 little friends in 5 minutes...I think that it helped that I brought cupcakes. But I got my eye on one girl, in particular.

Dad: Who?

Me: This little woman named Ale.xis. Other kids were asking questions like "How did you break that board in tae kwon do?" and "Did you ever visit Bat.on Rou.ge when you lived in Ne.w Orlea.ns?" This broad says, "Can you put your baseball cap on for me?" I don't like her...she too young for all dat, lol.

Dad: Well, what does J think?

Me: He doesn't like her either. He says that she keeps bothering him and touching him.

Dad: Is she black?

Me: Yep.

Dad: Oh...well, I'm gon' have a little talk with him then.

Me: Why?

Dad: He needs to know that that's the kind of girl that you want. Not them "hard to get" ones.

...

So, it looks like I'm going home for Ja.zz Fe.st next month. My dad said that he would kick in the money for J's ticket...b/c dropping $500 or driving 32 hours roundtrip during my time off is against my religion. I'm looking forward to it, b/c I'm in desparate need of a mini-vacay and a trip to the Fre.nch Mark.et to lift my mood. I've been so unmotivated lately...nothing that some crawfish bread, charbroiled oysters, beignets and a daiquiri won't cure. Plus, I just need to be around my fam right now...at least, until they get on my nerves and I'm ready to RUN back to VA. Let me rephrase...I need to be around my extended fam right now. I've been listening to some vintage Cas.h Mon.ey Million.aires to prepare for the trip. Laissez les bon temps roulez.

it's.so.cooooooold in da V!

...well, not really, but it sure is pretty! And there is nothing sweeter than your phone ringing and your boss, on the other end, is saying, "Unless you have 4-wheel drive or a desparate need to come to the office, stay at home!" I wasn't going anyway, but I was glad that this was understood. I love the fact that everything is at a stand-still, but I'm wondering if I can get some pizza delivered to this piece!

I know that this isn't exciting to you northerners, but this is a first for me. I mean, I have seen snow several times since I moved up to VA, but it hasn't been to such a degree that my office closed down.

My Un-Welcome mat.

My covered skylight.

Let's have breakfast on my porch.







It almost looks as if I photo-shopped my flag. I should probably invest in a winter one.



Somewhere under there is my driveway.



The driveway.



My poor car has been there for me through thick and thin, but I bet she's cussing me out right about now...wondering why i have her up here in this foolishness.





My side steps...that I couldn't get to b/c my screen door was stuck.





One of the few times that I appreciated the trees.



My Ne.w Or.leans garden flag...how appropriate.

And here's the street.

The screen door that I usually kick open when its frozen shut, but I didn't bother today b/c I was afraid that I would bust it down.

The view from my sunroom to the hot (now cold) garbage that is my backyard.

My backyard shed. This is the view from my loft, so you can see the snow built up on the roof over my sunroom towards the bottom of this pic.

This is the best that my backyard has EVER looked.

The view from my bedroom window.

More bedroom views...

A portion of the neighbor's house...the ones that refuse to speak, but it's cool.

value

I feel as if I don't know wassup with anybody anymore. I am already unable to blog at work and haven't even kept up with my email partnahs consistently in months, so I'm out of every loop formed in 2009. My g/f from back home, K-Rizzy spent Mar.di Gras week (bringing some king cake with her) in VA with me. And although I don't think that I get too scandalous on here or spend a lot of time talking about the goings-on of other people, I didn't want my blog to be discovered while she used my computer for a whole week. So, I avoided blogger's presence in my internet history and goo.gle (although I remained logged on as invisible on Ya.hoo Messenger which has my list of friends entitled "bloggers", so this may have tipped my hand a little).

I felt so bad b/c I had too many deadlines and couldn't take off until Friday afternoon to spend more time with her, but she acted as if she didn't mind. Every other day, J and I didn't arrive home until it was dark and even then, I had to balance girl talk and 2nd grade homework. And as usual, J likes to steal my friends when they come to visit by flashing a dimple and asking if they would play some game with him. Within 2 seconds, I was left alone to my HGTV and then the back of my eyelids b/c my anemia is kicking up and I am horrible with my iron pills.

I enjoyed her company so much, b/c that's my family. When K-Rizzy noticed that J kept asking me what certain words meant, she got on my computer while I was at work and rushed a package of books to my house, including a huge children's dictionary (which he loves). She also left gift cards to Ho.me De.pot and Star.bucks (b/c I mentioned them in conversation) on my nightstand as hospitality gifts.

As I was driving away from the airport parking lot yesterday, I turned to J and said, "If you manage to have at least 5 friends like Ms. K-Rizzy is to me when you're my age, you'll be one rich man." He just nodded and said "ok", but one day he will truly get what I mean. At my age, I've already had my fair share of superficial friendships, frenemies, associates, and empty, evil people that secretly desire my misery or failure. Finding supportive, uplifting, genuine friends that actually want you to thrive and succeed is damn near impossible nowadays. From high school buddy to college roomie, K-Rizzy has celebrated my accomplishments, accepted (and sometimes laughed off) my quirks, comforted me after my mom's death, and took care of me after my son's birth. When I take inventory of my friendships, I am reminded that I'm either doing something right to deserve this or that God truly loves me.