higher

J: Mommy, I have some papers in my folder today.

Me: Is one of them your book report grade?

J: I dunno. I didn't look.

Me: **pulling out papers and sorting through his improved grades, grin widening as I go** You got a 98 on your presentation?!

J: I did?

Me: Yeah, man. You got a 95 on the actual report!!! I am soooo PROUD of you!!! Your teacher wrote in the margin that you did an EXCELLENT JOB. **hugging him all hard, damn near choking him out**

J: **grinning with pride** Look! I got a 100E on my vocabulary test...**searching for other good grades, feeding off of my love**

If this had been me and my dad when I was 7 y/o, I could forget about any sort of affectionate display b/c he would be too busy trying to figure out what happened to the 2 points in my presentation and the 5 points in my book report. Actually, I was trying to figure out what happened to those 5 points, myself, b/c I helped J with the book report...and for some reason, I take it personally when points are taken. I mean, this is second grade homework.

But what have I realized? As simple as this sounds...J is not me. It took kindergarten, first, & now, second grade to come to this realization. Certain things don't come as easy to him as they did for me. He's not at the top of his class. He even takes a while to finish his assignments.

But this boy has strengths in areas that are foreign to me. There are some things that he got by nature and not by nurture. He read that book on Bara.ck Oba.ma and when he told me what it was about, at times, he would recite exact sentences verbatim. He made a puppet out of a paper bag (that was supposed to be Bar.ack) and when he did his presentation, he asked the puppet to tell the class about himself, and proceeded to speak in a deep voice throughout the remainder of the presentation. I made him practice every night for 2 weeks, but he had it down on the first one. The teacher provided the students with notecards, but I told him that he wasn't allowed to use them and that he already had everything that he needed to be outstanding. Stand out, he did.

I needed to modify my expectations. Don't get me wrong, I think that every parent should have high expectations when it comes to their children. However, I kept meeting J where "I was" and not where "he is". Its much easier to raise the bar, now that I know where it rests.

I can't wait to see him take it higher.