no hook for this hit

So...last night was THE night...and I was a HIT! I spent the morning cleaning, doing some prep for the event and babysitting my little cuz...in other words, I spent the morning being frazzled. Baby cuz was pretty easy-going this time around, plus JJ went into big brother mode to ease my load. But when it came time to pack the two up and drop them off by lady cuz, I developed a new respect for single moms with more than one kid...just don't know if I'm man enough, lol. I just can't think of a better ad for birth control.

Anyway, I met up with my coworker, Goth Girl (GG), for a mani-pedi clear across town. I must say that it was TOTALLY worth the extra mileage b/c I needed that pampering. I can't remember the last time that I treated myself like that...but they were having a special, so I somehow reasoned that I could afford a paraffin wax with the money that I was saving. Hell, it's Christmas time and I'm giving and not getting, so I might as well gift myself. After we were done, GG and I headed to the MAC counter at Nord.strom's...hoping for last-minute makeovers, but luck doesn't strike twice in a day. Here we are, 2 engineers...yet we fail to calculate that yesterday was a Saturday during party season. One consultant, looking as frazzled as I was feeling some hours before, was really precious and nice but basically told us to wait until the crowd dies down around 7 or 8 pm or kick rocks. I opted for rock kickage and foundation. Time was of the essence...and Ebony...and Jet at this point. I had 30 minutes to get home and only one hour after that to give Navy the house tour, finish doing my hair and makeup, press my dress, and spray the holy crap out of my undergarment with static guard.

When I was done with my magic, I could tell by the look on Navy's face that a $75 "shut it down" dress, recycled jewelry, and borrowed shoes NEVER looked so good. It is not in dude's nature to throw out compliments to anyone, so when he does, I have to grab hold of it and stuff it somewhere private for safe-keeping. We arrived at the Gala about an hour and a half after it started. I am all for being fashionably late...but feeling like we were early for next year's party is another story. However, it turned out that we were right on time to NOT listen to the announcements and to NOT win any of the door prizes. But I did win something...

This post is not really about how good I looked...it is about how good I felt last night. My emotions have been running rampant lately, but I figured that it was time to make some decisions. I'm going through some stuff, but I decided to not give any more power to it by obsessing over it. And no, the "stuff" I'm talking about is not Jesse (who didn't even show up). I've only shared what's been REALLY bothering me lately with 2 people...but honestly, they can say every right thing in the world to make me feel better, but if I don't believe it then I'm just wasting their time. There are a few things under attack right now and I haven't been feeling too good about myself. Couple that with Jesse's indifferent attitude towards our dissolution and you got me sitting over here waiting to ex.hale. But to command the attention of the Prez, who held my hand for 1 minute too long while slinging words like "stunning", "gorgeous", and "breathtaking"...to have prinicipals and vice presidents giving me the full-body once over and their wives glaring at my shoes...to have my girls bug out over my dress...to turn a corner and feel as if I just collided with the paparazzi...to feel as if I had to creatively end convos with people or else they'd be in my face all night b/c they were THAT drawn to me...that was ALL restoration. My mind needed this to quiet the negative voices in my head.

Yes, I shut it down...but these voices got shut down too.

I would say that the most interesting part of the night was when Tee's man, Jesse's best friend, practically chased me and Navy when we exited the ballroom. As soon as he asked how we knew each other, brother's game was blown. I figured that he was doing some research...perhaps to ensure that Navy and I were not an item. I told Navy from jump street that we weren't going to fake the funk...and although I wanted to at that point there was no sense in it. After a while, I wandered off and let them talk for a minute. But not before this dude invited me over during the Christmas holiday. Tee and I have gotten pretty cool through all of this, but I'm not too sure of what ole boy's aim is...but I'm also not so sure that I don't want to find out.