it's a wrap

I wish that I could say that I'm still wearing yesterday's funk, but for some reason I keep bathing...I guess that that's one of those ingrained behaviors. My bones are a little achy from sleeping on the couch last night. The one thing that I should've asked for was an electric blanket, b/c the physics behind hot air and tall ceilings conspired against me. But anyway...before passing out, J and I WERE watching The Polar Express and then Madasgascar. When I woke up, he apparently had gotten tired of being cold and ran for cover...on his top bunk. I figured that I might as well remain in my station since this boy naturally wakes up before 6am EVERY MORNING. That way, when he was ready to open presents, all I would have to do is sit up, observe, and feed off the excitement of a 6 y/o. I would have an edge over his PawPaw and his bad knees...well, I wouldn't be required to do the Fred San.ford shuffle to the tree.

5:50am: There was a nudge vigorous shake...a whisper loud voice...bright eyes and emerging dimples...and so it began...

Things that made noise...things that need batteries...

Things that require a computer, things with flashing lights...

But as entrancing as these gadgets might be, his most prized possession...

2 cardboard wrapping paper tubes...now, used to shoot marbles and random action figures across the room. The moral of THIS holiday story is....it doesn't take much technology to merry a child's Christmas.

daddy's home

It's no secret that I had been dreading my dad's visit, but so far, it has been a blessing. So much so, that I don't know what to do besides anchoring myself in my Urb.an Hang Suite (my loft and bedroom upstairs). I hadn't even formerly made my list of projects for him to tackle but everyday that I've gone to work, I've come home to some new surprise. I almost hate to admit this, but I purposely did not get groceries b/c money has been tight all month. I knew that if I kept, at least, one slice of bread and a half-gallon of milk that it'd inspire a couple of trips to Kro.ger without the incessant nagging. Now, the goodies in my fridge are pressed down, shaken together, and running over! He has raked and bagged (as JJ puts it) the 200-quad-billion leaves in my yard and driveway...that were gonna remain there indefinitely if left to my care and attention. I now have a TP and face towel holder in my downstairs bathroom, fresh vacuum tracks throughout the house, and a new deep fryer for the turkey that pops is going to go to town on come Christ.mas eve. Yes, life.is.good.

What am I going to do when this man leaves? Forget Mr. Belv.edere...Mr. Belvedad is what's hot on the streets!

It looks like it's going to be a pretty good Christ.mas for JJ. My dad went overboard, my g/f and her hubby went overboard and J's dad actually shipped him some things. HLS (Habitual Line Stepper) probably said that he would do so on some voicemail, but since the sound of his voice makes the peach fuzz on my arms stand on end, I usually delete his messages before listening to their weepy, woe-is-me entirety. I can just picture him sitting somewhere, looking stupid as usual right about now, but that's neither here nor there. Until he straightens out the financial biz as I asked him to, he need not say "boo" to me.

My thoughts are towards the future. Despite the challenges of the last couple of months, 2007 WAS/IS my year! Too many great things happened for me to sell it short by a couple of mistakes...my life is full of beautiful disasters and everything is ok. I look forward to 2008, but I'm not running from 2007. I still have a week and a half to celebrate the old year in all my glorious funk and comfy PJs...starting now, lazy days are-a-coming. Maybe while I'm off, I'll have the time and inclination to blog daily...or maybe I'll just think really hard and say I did.

return of the mack

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: LB
Date: Dec 5, 2007 4:15 PM

Thanks, buddy. I'm imagining you patting me on my head like you're my daddy or something. But OK, I'm so confused...you're moving back to New Orleans, but you'll be back in NY after the New Year? I've never been to New York so that would be a cool trip to take. But would you get mad if I didn't want to go anywhere if its cold and snowing? I'll understand if that's improper and everything b/c you New Yorkers might like to romp around in the snow, but me and cold do not mix well. VA has been enough to deal with, LOL. So anyway, when will you return to NY?

From: Mack
Date: Dec 18, 2007 3:23 PM

i get back to NY Jan 5th. Im heading down to N.O. sometime after that. I plan to live between the 2 city's... we can stay indoors and watch movies and stuff like that. Its just hard because i dont know if u remember, but i do, what happens when we get locked behind close doors together. :-) LoL... Which im sure would keep you warm enough to forget the snow

OK...is it safe to say that dude is flirting with me? Did I start it? Seriously, I have read and re-read my message and I didn't see anything twisted about suggesting that we stay in. I really didn't know what would happen if I went up to NY to visit. Call me naive, but I thought...ESPECIALLY since he asked that me AND J come to NY...that it would be a nice, wholesome trip...somewhat. Yes, we have obviously been together in THAT WAY a LONG time ago but this whole message made me nervous.

We always do this...start something but then his schedule and the distance prevents us from finishing it. And then I have to work to get him out of my system. I just don't know...

no hook for this hit

So...last night was THE night...and I was a HIT! I spent the morning cleaning, doing some prep for the event and babysitting my little cuz...in other words, I spent the morning being frazzled. Baby cuz was pretty easy-going this time around, plus JJ went into big brother mode to ease my load. But when it came time to pack the two up and drop them off by lady cuz, I developed a new respect for single moms with more than one kid...just don't know if I'm man enough, lol. I just can't think of a better ad for birth control.

Anyway, I met up with my coworker, Goth Girl (GG), for a mani-pedi clear across town. I must say that it was TOTALLY worth the extra mileage b/c I needed that pampering. I can't remember the last time that I treated myself like that...but they were having a special, so I somehow reasoned that I could afford a paraffin wax with the money that I was saving. Hell, it's Christmas time and I'm giving and not getting, so I might as well gift myself. After we were done, GG and I headed to the MAC counter at Nord.strom's...hoping for last-minute makeovers, but luck doesn't strike twice in a day. Here we are, 2 engineers...yet we fail to calculate that yesterday was a Saturday during party season. One consultant, looking as frazzled as I was feeling some hours before, was really precious and nice but basically told us to wait until the crowd dies down around 7 or 8 pm or kick rocks. I opted for rock kickage and foundation. Time was of the essence...and Ebony...and Jet at this point. I had 30 minutes to get home and only one hour after that to give Navy the house tour, finish doing my hair and makeup, press my dress, and spray the holy crap out of my undergarment with static guard.

When I was done with my magic, I could tell by the look on Navy's face that a $75 "shut it down" dress, recycled jewelry, and borrowed shoes NEVER looked so good. It is not in dude's nature to throw out compliments to anyone, so when he does, I have to grab hold of it and stuff it somewhere private for safe-keeping. We arrived at the Gala about an hour and a half after it started. I am all for being fashionably late...but feeling like we were early for next year's party is another story. However, it turned out that we were right on time to NOT listen to the announcements and to NOT win any of the door prizes. But I did win something...

This post is not really about how good I looked...it is about how good I felt last night. My emotions have been running rampant lately, but I figured that it was time to make some decisions. I'm going through some stuff, but I decided to not give any more power to it by obsessing over it. And no, the "stuff" I'm talking about is not Jesse (who didn't even show up). I've only shared what's been REALLY bothering me lately with 2 people...but honestly, they can say every right thing in the world to make me feel better, but if I don't believe it then I'm just wasting their time. There are a few things under attack right now and I haven't been feeling too good about myself. Couple that with Jesse's indifferent attitude towards our dissolution and you got me sitting over here waiting to ex.hale. But to command the attention of the Prez, who held my hand for 1 minute too long while slinging words like "stunning", "gorgeous", and "breathtaking"...to have prinicipals and vice presidents giving me the full-body once over and their wives glaring at my shoes...to have my girls bug out over my dress...to turn a corner and feel as if I just collided with the paparazzi...to feel as if I had to creatively end convos with people or else they'd be in my face all night b/c they were THAT drawn to me...that was ALL restoration. My mind needed this to quiet the negative voices in my head.

Yes, I shut it down...but these voices got shut down too.

I would say that the most interesting part of the night was when Tee's man, Jesse's best friend, practically chased me and Navy when we exited the ballroom. As soon as he asked how we knew each other, brother's game was blown. I figured that he was doing some research...perhaps to ensure that Navy and I were not an item. I told Navy from jump street that we weren't going to fake the funk...and although I wanted to at that point there was no sense in it. After a while, I wandered off and let them talk for a minute. But not before this dude invited me over during the Christmas holiday. Tee and I have gotten pretty cool through all of this, but I'm not too sure of what ole boy's aim is...but I'm also not so sure that I don't want to find out.

'tis the season...

...to break the bank! An unprecedented 2 blogs in one weekend...I might just stomp with the big blog dawgs in 2008. So after being down in the dumps and dumpy-looking on Saturday, I was angry at my orange-level alert of procrastination on Sunday. 'Tis the season to break the bank and I headed to Target for the next episode. I had a To.ys for To.ts luncheon and a small group Secret San.ta to shop for. Considering that my SS group chased down mexican food with a quick trip to the next door porno shop during lunchtime last week, I'm HOPING...seriously HOPING...that whoever pulled my name didn't wake up stupid and buy me a vibrator for Christmas. There were a lot of jokes being passed around the table that day, which led to my own private showing of this dude in accounting "dropping it like it's hot" at my cube. Since he had no shame on company property during company time, I shudder to think of the things that we all will unwrap during our break THIS week. I am somewhat making my gift, so we'll see how it comes out.

'Tis the season to ATTEMPT frugality. So I was in luck, my cuz's shoes will go well with the dress that I bought for the Gala. They're her wedding shoes though...I had to make sure that they weren't so sacred that I couldn't even breathe on the heel but she willingly through them my way...along with the red shoes that I had let her borrow about a year ago.

But I didn't just drop by for shoes...I went on ahead and invested in some real estate. Money, for me, has been tight this month...key words being "for me." I don't necessarily HAVE to live check to check, but I choose to forego transferring funds out of my savings accounts to compensate for everytime I overspend. So whereas my checking and savings account balances at my main bank are probably quite laughable by whoever views my statements, my other balances are far less as embarrassing b/c I refuse to pull from them. I am trying to train myself to live within my means and if that MEANS I'm down to $5.00 on the 20th and don't expect to see a check until the 1st, then it's time to get creative. That other money is only intended for emergency purposes.

'Tis also the season to hustle and flow. I had been debating making this new investment for a couple of months now and so I finally bit the bullet and entered into a contract with my cuz. We'll see how this plays out. For a second, my 401K was giving me heartburn after I decided to make 3 major trades. I got slapped with some market timing warning...I'm not sure what that means besides "chill." My mutual funds are pretty steady since they are far less aggressive. Real estate is another attempt at diversification and higher returns, I guess. I'm no shrewd business woman but I got to learn something, somehow. For now, my goal is to keep reinvesting for a whole year, so that by this time next year, I can pay off my student loans. Again, we'll see.

So maybe I need this break from a man in order for me to focus on streams of income. Lord knows that when my attention is divided, I'm less calculating and more cuddly but cuddling ain't never paid no bills.