IMO Thursdays - Time

Time, urgency, and desire are 3 different things; yet, time always gets the bad rap. As the saying goes, you always make time for the things/activities/people that are of high priority. My problem is that I lack the desire to do a lot of things or I procrastinate b/c I work better with a sense of urgency. I own that. I very rarely say that I don't have time to do something, b/c most likely, I just don't feel like doing it. It kinda annoys me when some people use time as a cop out.

My girlfriend called me the other day to vent about her job. She has been venting about this job since...I don't remember when...but I listened anyway b/c I figured that that is what she really needed. Her job has been a huge source of stress for her since...I don't remember when...but again, I listened as she spoke of the day's events.

This is my married girlfriend. She and her hubby just bought a house not too long, so the next step is to start a family. She's been going to the doctor and making sure that everything is straight before she attempts to get pregnant.

I asked her a question that I've asked before, hoping for a different answer. "Have you started to look for another job?" She actually said yes this time, but that she worries that there will be an issue with maternity leave if she starts a new job. Recognizing that she was paralyzed by fear, I ask, "Had you applied somewhere?" In my mind, you do things in order...apply for a job, interview at a job, be offered a job, negotiate benefits & salary. How can you be worried about something so far down the process, without first taking initiative to start the process? AND, to my knowledge, she's not even "with child" yet. For some people, that takes time as well. But anyway, her response to my verbalized question was, "Well, when am I going to have time to do it???"

Since when DON'T you have time to do it? Just admit that you've become complacent and would rather suffer through that bull than to see what else is out there. Or just admit that you don't like change...it is uncomfortable for a lot of people. And I'm guessing since her paycheck has yet to be threatened, then there's no sense of urgency to find anything new. All of that is cool, but complaining about a problem that you have given no effort to solve baffles me. Even if the solution is on the emotional/spiritual end...pray before you get out of the car, play soothing music (I guess not everyone is able to do this at work), or remind yourself daily how this particular experience is crucial to doing whatever it is you'd rather be doing and it's only a matter of time before you're living your dream.

Bottom line, jobs don't care about your stress.

I explained to her that her stress will certainly cause trauma in the womb and she had better get a handle on that before she even entertains the idea of getting pregnant. I'm hoping that that put something on her mind and will stir up a sense of urgency or desire.

Whenever you find yourself saying that you don't have time to do something, be honest about your priorities and see if they need to be rearranged. And if after that, you still lack the urgency or desire, then hold yourself accountable and own that.

curly girl wonder diaries - month 5

Today marks the beginning of my 5th month as a natural-head...which also means that I haven't relaxed my hair in a little over 8 months. This ride has had it's joys and growing pains, but today, I feel accomplished. Ever since I noticed that my shedding has eased (read here), I have been feeling much better about my decision. I want to thank everyone for their encouragement...including you, faye.

So, I tried a twist-out over the weekend. To sum it up in one word...fail. It looked dry in some areas, frizzy in others. It was a mixture of defined curls and a hot ass mess. There was no way that I was going to leave my house looking like that, so that was a wrap. My new employer is having a holiday party next month and I was trying out some new styles to dress up my look, but methinks that I'll just stick to what I know until my hair grows a bit more.

I can't go wrong with a coil-out. If it don't shine, then it's not mine, lol.

This is either 2nd or 3rd day hair. Me and Vati.ka oil are kinda boo'ed up right about now.

Anyway, my strands don't like to be manhandled too often, so my weekly regimen is working for me...which reminds me of the reason why people thought my hair grew fast when I was relaxed. I would wash my hair on Saturday and wear a roller-wrap all week. I wasn't doing anything crazy to it and I may have touched a curling iron once a week, tops. By wearing my coils for 3 days or so and then picking them out and wearing the coil-out for another 3 days, I am giving my hair a break. I'm thinking that coils will be my winter protective style and hopefully by summer, I can get back into my wash-n-go(s).

This Month's Mythbuster

If nothing is medically wrong, hair should grow...usually at a rate of 1/4" to 1/2" a month. So to read boards where someone posts something crazy like, "My hair grew 1 and 1/2" last month just by using Product A" and then reading these bandwagon-er responses is just bonkers to me. With health, comes length...concentrate on health. It's funny b/c Tee still asks me what my regimen was when I was relaxed b/c she's trying to grow her hair out. If I can give advice, whether relaxed or natural, I'm honored.

Comment of the Month

A former coworker of mine (she was given her walking papers during my round) emailed me to compliment me on my hair and ask when I cut all of my hair off. I explained that I did it right before my bday, but that it wasn't for the sake of it being short...I had given up on relaxing my hair.

Her response:

Oh my goodness, I'm glad you're not using relaxer any more. since I'm home all of the time, I sometimes watch Dr. Oz. I might cut him out though, I think he annoys me. Anyway, so just the other day he showed us how bad relaxer is for your hair. He took a paintbrush and dipped it in and it destroyed the brush. (oh looks like Dr. Oz is talking about Ovarian cancer today, guess I'll be watching.)

She's so sweet...I could hear her voice as I was reading that. She had just permed her hair before her bday, so that she could have curls. Curly seems to be "in", no matter the race.

Anyway...whether permed, relaxed, natural, loc'ed, braided, etc...just keep it healthy.

Back on track...

Curly Girl Wonder aka LB

kids today

J and I are going on a hike with the cub scouts Saturday afternoon. We're supposed to attend our Clay-mation class at the Visu.al Arts Cent.er that morning. I'm looking forward to the art class. The hike? I don't know. I don't have a problem with being outdoors...I have a problem with this group of lil dudes being outdoors. I used to think that if I should be blessed with more children that I wanted them all to be boys. Now? Eh, not so much.

We were preparing for the hike last night at the cub scout meeting.

Group Leader: "OK, I have a bag full of items that we should bring on the hike. Tell me what you think we should bring and I'll see if I have it in my bag."

Kid #1: "A Nintendo DS!"

Group Leader: "Really." **sad flatly**

Kid #1: "Well, I'm going to need something to do when I get lost."

I remember the last time that I was out in the woods. Believe it or not, it was for work. I was touring a site for future development. My coworker and I were out there crossing streams on logs, walking around deer feces, while stepping high to avoid getting tagged by twigs and sticks stuck upright in the ground. It was a gorgeous day, but those real-life animals are not as cute as they are in those Pi.xar movies. Anyway, I thought that I was doing fairly well, that is, until it was time for lunch.

We sat under a tree shortly after I bust my ass, sliding down a hill and I pulled out my sandwich and ate like I had never been fed. All of a sudden, I noticed that there were a whole bunch of bugs crawling on and around me...apparently, dropping from the tree. I didn't know what they were, but I didn't want to seem like a punk so I just dusted them off. I mean, they were small enough. And then I turned to my coworker and asked, "Um, what kind of bugs are these?"

"Oh, they're ticks."

"Ticks?! As in lime-disease carrying ticks???"

Mayne, I jumped up and started dancing like Ge.orge Jeffer.son to get those things off of me. He was all non-chalant and said, "You'll probably have to shake your clothes out when we get back to the office." And I'm looking at his For.est Gu.mp-looking ass, pissed the hell off! May I just say that I live and work around a bunch of hillbillies.

I only saw maybe 2-3 of them at the time, but those bugs were hiding in places that required me to strip...in the bathroom...at work. I found a couple hiding underneath my bra...in my socks...and the waistband of my draws (excuse me, panties...lol). I was mostly concerned about them being on my scalp and kept feeling around my hair. After I thought that I had shook dem haters off, I breathed a sigh of relief.

And then I got home...

I was playing a game with J in his room and I noticed that my back kept itching. I assumed that it was a mosquito bite. And then something said, "go check." Apparently, this was the alpha tick, b/c he wasn't going anywhere. I didn't have tweezers, but I had acetone. So, I soaked a cotton ball with acetone and drowned him in it. The tick was dead, but he was still lodged in my back.

I couldn't contort myself to get the damn thing out and I wasn't about to suffer any more injury at the hands of J. So, I let him stay there. When I went back to work, I asked my bruh-coworker to help me get the tick out of my back. After being hemmed up in a car with him...with my shirt over my head, while he was trying to tweez the tick out of my back but ONLY got half of it (looking mad suspect, I should add)...I was disgusted. I ended up having to go to the doctor and paying over $100 for her to remove it.

So, I'm going to enjoy this hike on Saturday but if I have to choose between a tick and a lost kid...well, I hope that he remembered to pack his games.