I wrote this earlier today...
I know that I haven’t blogged in a minute…I haven’t really been able to focus.
And now, I am sitting here at work…allowing the redness in my cheeks to subside before I go pick my baby up from afterschool care. I get worried about my temperament at work, b/c (and I hate to make this racial, but…) I just don’t want to be labeled the angry black woman. (6 of us out of 143 people, 4 out of the 6 are women and I’m the only black female engineer) I wish that I were like that letter-writing S23/S30 gal. That’s a good way to get results. But today, after being CC’ed on an email to my supervisor, I was so heated that I must have turned 5 shades of red. They keep preaching about being a team player, but I have found that this one woman wishes to have an adversarial relationship with me instead. In this email, she threw me under the bus in so many different ways that the tread marks have made pretty little designs on my entire body. Next thing I know, the pen in my hand got slammed against the wall and I stomped through the office right to my supervisor’s desk, literally grabbed a seat and placed it in front of him, and asked if we could rap for a taste about my dealings with this woman. I’m sure that this will be a perfect topic for Suzie B, whenever my next appointment with her is but I had a laundry list of other stuff to talk to her about. Anyways…
I explained my position…and I talk with my hands so I’m sure that my anger emanated from my rigid fingers and were evident in my wrist movements. I was trying to deal with this woman as diplomatically as I could but today, I will wear that “angry black woman” badge proudly! Of course, my supervisor told me to calm down but understood why I was so wound up. He assured me that this would not be a black mark on my record and that it probably won’t be the last time that something like this happens. En route to his desk, he had apparently responded to the woman’s email, defending me once again and actually told me that this woman probably thinks that she is “hot sh*t”…not too professional, but it made me laugh. In the meantime, we’ll just have to work to figure out a way to appease this whiny broad. But something did stick out about our 50-minute conversation:
Me: I just feel like I have all of this pressure to do well b/c although I’m juggling 4 projects and whatever fires I have to put out with regard to past projects, this one is ALL mine.
Super: Who’s putting all of this pressure on you?
Me: Me.
Super: **laughs** It’s not worth the ulcer.
Me: OK.
Super: All I know is…
Me: **eyebrows raised in question**
Super: David better not get kicked off American Idol.
Mental note: Ask supervisor what brand of wine he drinks.
And now, I am sitting here at work…allowing the redness in my cheeks to subside before I go pick my baby up from afterschool care. I get worried about my temperament at work, b/c (and I hate to make this racial, but…) I just don’t want to be labeled the angry black woman. (6 of us out of 143 people, 4 out of the 6 are women and I’m the only black female engineer) I wish that I were like that letter-writing S23/S30 gal. That’s a good way to get results. But today, after being CC’ed on an email to my supervisor, I was so heated that I must have turned 5 shades of red. They keep preaching about being a team player, but I have found that this one woman wishes to have an adversarial relationship with me instead. In this email, she threw me under the bus in so many different ways that the tread marks have made pretty little designs on my entire body. Next thing I know, the pen in my hand got slammed against the wall and I stomped through the office right to my supervisor’s desk, literally grabbed a seat and placed it in front of him, and asked if we could rap for a taste about my dealings with this woman. I’m sure that this will be a perfect topic for Suzie B, whenever my next appointment with her is but I had a laundry list of other stuff to talk to her about. Anyways…
I explained my position…and I talk with my hands so I’m sure that my anger emanated from my rigid fingers and were evident in my wrist movements. I was trying to deal with this woman as diplomatically as I could but today, I will wear that “angry black woman” badge proudly! Of course, my supervisor told me to calm down but understood why I was so wound up. He assured me that this would not be a black mark on my record and that it probably won’t be the last time that something like this happens. En route to his desk, he had apparently responded to the woman’s email, defending me once again and actually told me that this woman probably thinks that she is “hot sh*t”…not too professional, but it made me laugh. In the meantime, we’ll just have to work to figure out a way to appease this whiny broad. But something did stick out about our 50-minute conversation:
Me: I just feel like I have all of this pressure to do well b/c although I’m juggling 4 projects and whatever fires I have to put out with regard to past projects, this one is ALL mine.
Super: Who’s putting all of this pressure on you?
Me: Me.
Super: **laughs** It’s not worth the ulcer.
Me: OK.
Super: All I know is…
Me: **eyebrows raised in question**
Super: David better not get kicked off American Idol.
Mental note: Ask supervisor what brand of wine he drinks.
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5 comments:
You can't wait for her outside the office at her car? She must not know you from that Nolia.. LOL! Your supervisor seems like he's kicks. Ah, I have yet to get results of my letter writing campaign. Maybe I'll have to write President Bush in order to get some results timely..
The right answer... Pray about it. It will all work out.
The answer you want to hear... catch that chick coming out the bathroom stall and let her know you da LBEEZY!
LOL.
My thing... make sure you document EVERYTHING and continue to work hard. That's what's up!
LOL...Yea what they said....LOL...LBEEZY!! *classic*
You know from time to time you have to wear the "angry black woman" badge because when you're the only black person (like me) or one of a handful (like you) the ANGLO's will try and TEST you by attempting to minimize your worth and power! And it is IMPERATIVE that you let them know you are NOT the one!
Good thing your supervisor is so cool! If he doesn't have a problem with you then I'd give homegirl the middle finger salute and keep it moving!
Girl,
First let me start with your supervisor. He is a mess. And you can let him know that David did get voted off last week. And not because of his singing although that is how they tried to play it. Someone leaked a story that he used to strip in a gay club and then there were 11.
Any way, let me tell you something I hear about the "Angry black woman" or the elephant in the room mess all the time. However, we can not let people run over us, disrespect, degrade, undermine our work, or talk to us any kind of way just because we don't want to be a stereotype. I have learned to master the concept of telling someone off and leaving them standing there not realizing if they were told off or not. That is the best way to get "them." Seeing them standing there with that confused look on there face is priceless. Use that sarcasism girl, I know you have it and if that doesn't work tell her to meet you at Walmart in the parking lot.
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