I’m a people-watcher. I don’t sit in coffee shops or bars and watch people. I watch the people that could potentially impact my life. How many times have we heard someone say that actions speak louder than words? But how often do we take time to observe those actions before things become complicated?
I don’t impress easily. Telling me that I'm pretty doesn't move me. Now, if you sweet-talked me in high school…and college, to some extent…you might've been on my radar and your word might've been gospel. But I have since come to learn that a lot of times, people are just talk. They love to talk. They love to hear themselves talk. Or they talk about things that they think you want to hear.
I remember being in Ho.me De.pot. There was this man in there that would find himself in my aisle one-too-many times. Well, I went down another aisle and picked up a floor heater.
He says, “I would love to know if those things will work for my house. You see, I have a really big house with high ceilings.”
**Blank stare** I guess that I was supposed to change my draws after that one. I rolled my eyes when he tried to get my number. As soon as a guy starts talking about what all he has, I assume that he doesn’t feel confident enough in himself to think that who he is will be enough to attract me.
And who is he exactly?
I still wouldn’t know after one or two dates. All I would know is that the guy may be of some interest to me. Ladylee said something to me, years ago, about needing to see how a person lives. That was some meat and potatoes advice b/c I was chewing on that for a minute...still trying to digest all of it.
When Jesse first approached me, he already knew (through Tee) that I was trying to do some yard improvements. So that was his angle. He offered to do all kinds of projects b/c that was his hobby. While we were dating, guess what project got done? Nar’y one. And if that wasn’t enough, I asked him to do something that was VERY important to me…explained why it was important to me from an emotional standpoint. He said that he would. Did he ever do it? Nope. So that was that. I didn’t even feel strongly enough to give him the common courtesy of telling him to his face that we were no longer dating. I just didn't feel as if I owed him a damn thing. But I don’t fault him. I fault myself. If I had taken the time to truly observe who he was and how he lived, I could’ve saved myself the trouble. He was never a man of action.
And that’s what I need.
That’s how I’m getting burned with J’s dad.
So, I’m taking my time with the new man friend or not-so-new man friend. People have assumed that he and I don’t talk anymore. Since I don’t mention him much on blog, we can't possibly be talking. Well we do…very often. I don’t mention him on blog as often b/c I don’t need to share every detail of every conversation that we have…I’d be here all day. But more importantly, some things are best left offline and between us. So I apologize if that makes my blog 10 times more boring.
But the truth of the matter is, I’m still observing. Unfortunately, by his living in the N.O. and my being here, that makes it a little hard. But it does give me more time to get my mind right. His visit wasn’t long enough for me to get a true representation and I’m sure that he can say the same about me. But I don’t know when he’ll visit again and I have no idea when I’m going back home. I can’t really make a fair assessment about the future without truly seeing how he lives. I enjoy talking to him and he has become a confidant. But there are some things that I still need to know. Is he progressing towards his goals? How solid is his word? Is he proactive? He's mentioned a few things that he would like to accomplish. He shouldn't have ever told me that b/c now he's on the clock. If he can't handle his own business, that speaks volumes...even more than he can ever say on the phone. I can sell myself as the most patient person in the world and be very convincing…but observe me at a stoplight or my facial reaction when someone uses the word "chillax", lol.
So our motto is, one day at a time. We have agreed on one thing…if the worst case scenario is that we’re just really good friends, then that’s still a sweet deal.
I don’t impress easily. Telling me that I'm pretty doesn't move me. Now, if you sweet-talked me in high school…and college, to some extent…you might've been on my radar and your word might've been gospel. But I have since come to learn that a lot of times, people are just talk. They love to talk. They love to hear themselves talk. Or they talk about things that they think you want to hear.
I remember being in Ho.me De.pot. There was this man in there that would find himself in my aisle one-too-many times. Well, I went down another aisle and picked up a floor heater.
He says, “I would love to know if those things will work for my house. You see, I have a really big house with high ceilings.”
**Blank stare** I guess that I was supposed to change my draws after that one. I rolled my eyes when he tried to get my number. As soon as a guy starts talking about what all he has, I assume that he doesn’t feel confident enough in himself to think that who he is will be enough to attract me.
And who is he exactly?
I still wouldn’t know after one or two dates. All I would know is that the guy may be of some interest to me. Ladylee said something to me, years ago, about needing to see how a person lives. That was some meat and potatoes advice b/c I was chewing on that for a minute...still trying to digest all of it.
When Jesse first approached me, he already knew (through Tee) that I was trying to do some yard improvements. So that was his angle. He offered to do all kinds of projects b/c that was his hobby. While we were dating, guess what project got done? Nar’y one. And if that wasn’t enough, I asked him to do something that was VERY important to me…explained why it was important to me from an emotional standpoint. He said that he would. Did he ever do it? Nope. So that was that. I didn’t even feel strongly enough to give him the common courtesy of telling him to his face that we were no longer dating. I just didn't feel as if I owed him a damn thing. But I don’t fault him. I fault myself. If I had taken the time to truly observe who he was and how he lived, I could’ve saved myself the trouble. He was never a man of action.
And that’s what I need.
That’s how I’m getting burned with J’s dad.
So, I’m taking my time with the new man friend or not-so-new man friend. People have assumed that he and I don’t talk anymore. Since I don’t mention him much on blog, we can't possibly be talking. Well we do…very often. I don’t mention him on blog as often b/c I don’t need to share every detail of every conversation that we have…I’d be here all day. But more importantly, some things are best left offline and between us. So I apologize if that makes my blog 10 times more boring.
But the truth of the matter is, I’m still observing. Unfortunately, by his living in the N.O. and my being here, that makes it a little hard. But it does give me more time to get my mind right. His visit wasn’t long enough for me to get a true representation and I’m sure that he can say the same about me. But I don’t know when he’ll visit again and I have no idea when I’m going back home. I can’t really make a fair assessment about the future without truly seeing how he lives. I enjoy talking to him and he has become a confidant. But there are some things that I still need to know. Is he progressing towards his goals? How solid is his word? Is he proactive? He's mentioned a few things that he would like to accomplish. He shouldn't have ever told me that b/c now he's on the clock. If he can't handle his own business, that speaks volumes...even more than he can ever say on the phone. I can sell myself as the most patient person in the world and be very convincing…but observe me at a stoplight or my facial reaction when someone uses the word "chillax", lol.
So our motto is, one day at a time. We have agreed on one thing…if the worst case scenario is that we’re just really good friends, then that’s still a sweet deal.
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1 comments:
I like that part about him being on the clock. Someone I went out with recently gave me a list of all these goals he had. This is b/c I asked about his goal. He hasn't mentioned them since and I haven't seen him do one thing progressing towards the goal.. Sigh!
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