IMO Thursdays - Time

Time, urgency, and desire are 3 different things; yet, time always gets the bad rap. As the saying goes, you always make time for the things/activities/people that are of high priority. My problem is that I lack the desire to do a lot of things or I procrastinate b/c I work better with a sense of urgency. I own that. I very rarely say that I don't have time to do something, b/c most likely, I just don't feel like doing it. It kinda annoys me when some people use time as a cop out.

My girlfriend called me the other day to vent about her job. She has been venting about this job since...I don't remember when...but I listened anyway b/c I figured that that is what she really needed. Her job has been a huge source of stress for her since...I don't remember when...but again, I listened as she spoke of the day's events.

This is my married girlfriend. She and her hubby just bought a house not too long, so the next step is to start a family. She's been going to the doctor and making sure that everything is straight before she attempts to get pregnant.

I asked her a question that I've asked before, hoping for a different answer. "Have you started to look for another job?" She actually said yes this time, but that she worries that there will be an issue with maternity leave if she starts a new job. Recognizing that she was paralyzed by fear, I ask, "Had you applied somewhere?" In my mind, you do things in order...apply for a job, interview at a job, be offered a job, negotiate benefits & salary. How can you be worried about something so far down the process, without first taking initiative to start the process? AND, to my knowledge, she's not even "with child" yet. For some people, that takes time as well. But anyway, her response to my verbalized question was, "Well, when am I going to have time to do it???"

Since when DON'T you have time to do it? Just admit that you've become complacent and would rather suffer through that bull than to see what else is out there. Or just admit that you don't like change...it is uncomfortable for a lot of people. And I'm guessing since her paycheck has yet to be threatened, then there's no sense of urgency to find anything new. All of that is cool, but complaining about a problem that you have given no effort to solve baffles me. Even if the solution is on the emotional/spiritual end...pray before you get out of the car, play soothing music (I guess not everyone is able to do this at work), or remind yourself daily how this particular experience is crucial to doing whatever it is you'd rather be doing and it's only a matter of time before you're living your dream.

Bottom line, jobs don't care about your stress.

I explained to her that her stress will certainly cause trauma in the womb and she had better get a handle on that before she even entertains the idea of getting pregnant. I'm hoping that that put something on her mind and will stir up a sense of urgency or desire.

Whenever you find yourself saying that you don't have time to do something, be honest about your priorities and see if they need to be rearranged. And if after that, you still lack the urgency or desire, then hold yourself accountable and own that.