rage

I am so pissed right now that I'm in tears. It's been a while since I have been THIS mad. I won't even go into the exact reason, so I'll just send out a message.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WATCH WHO YOU PROCREATE WITH.

I know, for some of us, it is too late. I am so mad at myself. I love my son the way that he is and I know that he wouldn't be who he is without his other half, but if I can just go back 8 years and rethink my stupid ass decisions, I would!

My phone has been ringing, but I cannot even talk to anybody until I calm down.

I don't hate this dude, but my strong dislike doesn't feel as if it can get any stronger. For someone to have such utter disregard for the people affected by their actions, and in this case, inactions is so beyond comprehension for me.

I was going to blog about something totally different but I can't even remember what it was anymore...so I thought that I'd bless anyone that cares to read with some raw emotion. Sorry, I was hoping that this would be therapeutic...so far, it isn't.

And this is a prime example of why I am so afraid of being tied to people at times. I just have to keep reminding myself that not every guy/person is like this...and I know this.

I just really need to talk to God tonight. But not about this dude.

We need to talk about me. I can't change the past. And I can't change people. All I can change is how I react and I need to better manage my emotions.