just when I think...

...that I'm not equipped to raise this young man alone, God shows me that I am NEVER alone! A lot of times I walk around seemingly unphased by what people say, but the area in which I'm hypersensitive is with regard to my lil man.

Some bloggers have very strong opinions about single mothers and children born outside of wedlock. I was a bit more spunky back in the blog-day and felt the need to speak on the subject. But even in the midst of my anger, I was hurt by what was being said TO me and about women LIKE me (AND children like ours)...but I had to shake it off and keep it moving. Everyone is going to have an opinion. In the back of my mind, I knew that it doesn't matter what those people (or anyone else) think about me. All that matters is what God thinks about me and what I think about myself. And if at the end of it all, my son pats me on the back and says that I did a good job, then I don't need praise from nobody else! And I mean NO-DAMN-BODY!

I can't count how many times, I sat here wondering how I'm going to pay for this and how I'm going to help him with that. Or thinking that I need a man to do this and I need a man to show him that. But then I have to check myself. God has ALWAYS provided. We live in a beautiful home. J is involved in a lot of extracurricular activities. He is bright and well-mannered. And the man that God provided might not be his daddy or my husband, but they've been his PawPaw, his coaches, my male friends, the husbands of female friends, and the other daddies in cubscouts (to name a few) that have gone beyond the call of duty to make sure that we were taken care of. With that said...

I don't know if anyone remembers reading about Ernie and how he helped me and J prepare for J's cubscout pinewood derby race. Well...I have something to tell Ernie.

I had J draw out his vision for the car.


Thanks to the supplies we were given and gifted by Ernie...



J's vision came to life.

J and his best friend were so excited before the race, but they had no idea what their standings would be after the race. And to be honest, I have NO experience in trying to carve a car out of a block of wood and simply didn't want to get embarrassed.



J won SECOND PLACE! His best friend, FIRST!



It's safe to say that even when I don't know what I'm doing in the natural, God steps in and adds the supernatural.



J ALSO won SECOND PLACE in Scout's Choice for the best-looking car! His peers even thought that he did a good job!

So, J brought home these trophies!

I told J, "You did it!"

J said, "No, WE did it!"

I have been teary-eyed all weekend.



I see YOU, God! Thank You!