fame - I'm gonna live forever

I'm so bad at reporting stale news...

Anyway, if you have followed me for a length of time, then you may have taken note that interior design is a passion of mine. In another life, that might be my path. In THIS life, I enjoy making my home a warm and comfortable haven for me and the kid. With this said, it has been my DREAM to be on HGTV.

Last weekend, I got the chance. Not necessarily how I envisioned it, but once it airs and I bask in my 50 seconds of fame, it'll feel just the same.

A friend of mine (and her man) sent in an audition tape for "Hou.se Hun.ters" and was selected to be on the show. She bought a townhouse no more than 5 minutes away from me. She moved from a nice apartment near my other friend in a county clear across town. The apartment complex; however, would not sign off on the release form to be filmed. Filming your current location is a necessary segment of the program...without it, it's a no-go. After asking a few people (who either lived in an apartment themselves or had Homeowner's Associations that were against the idea as well), she finally found a kind-hearted soul that wanted nothing more than to help her fulfill her dream.

Well, not quite...

She found me, someone who has an HGTV agenda too! Of course, there was some discussion as I did have concerns, but those were soon ironed out. Last weekend, we filmed the first few scenes for, dare I say, MY future episode, lol.

I wore my special flower so that the cameramen had a visual tool to help them remember my "good side". I was ready to do some bargaining...more like, begging. I tried everything. Pitched an idea for a new show, "Design Without a Damn Thing". I even suggested that Canda.ce Ols.en have a shorter, more tan cohost to liven up Di.vine Des.ign. I also offered to film a sweet message for that hot guy with a hammer, Car.ter Oos.terhouse. Can you believe that the producer was not receptive to my award winning (minus the heart winning) ideas?

She wasn't receptive, but she was surely impressed with my humble abode. I think that I have said this before: my house is much like me - small but full of personality. She walked around every room with a smile. I just knew that I was a shoe-in for something. Nope, nada. The cameraman did complement me on my hair...and told me that I didn't have a bad side. Flatterer. He must've known that I was still hot over his boy tracking sh*t on my carpet...the same light shade of carpet that I am particularly anal about keeping clean.

Anyway, I filmed 2 scenes. One of me, my girlfriend, her man, and J standing around my table making snacks and talking "must haves" about house hunting. J even got into the act. He was prompted to say a few lines, but I think that he missed the part where he was supposed to PRETEND to eat the sandwich...not inhale it. I didn't realize just how much "acting" is required for these reality shows, but after my experience, I am certain that the Real Hous.ewives of Any.thing is 60 minutes of falsehood.

The other scene that I was in took place in my neighborhood. I was jogging with my girlfriend. It looked a little weird for us to be following behind a truck with a cameraman hanging out of it, but that wasn't the worst of it. Somehow, I forgot that I am not a jogger. I know that the guy monitoring the mics was catching hell with my ashmatic breathing only after a few minutes in motion. These hills are no joke. As soon as the truck turned around, I collapsed on the ground. Hopefully, that ends up on the cutting room floor. :)

We still have to shoot the final scene sometime...as sort of a housewarming party. I won't get excited about actually being on HGTV until I verify that I don't look crazy, J doesn't look crazy, and my house doesn't look crazy. So, I will have to view the first airing before I give anyone the heads up that my 50 seconds is about to start.

J, on the other hand, told EVERYBODY that he was on TV. One girl wanted his autograph. His other friends were excited for him and 2 even said that they already saw him. Kids.

Anyway, it was a fun way to spend a Saturday. Crossing fingers that this could be the start of something new. HA! I'm gonna be a STAR-UH!