flirting

So...I was on the phone with one of my besties the other night and we started talking about this guy that I used to be CRAZY about in high school. He lived one subdivision over from mine...making it easy for him to ride his bike to my house when my mom wasn't home. We didn't have sex but up until that time in high school, he had seen parts of me that no other guy had seen. We went to prom together, but were never officially a couple...he was pretty popular with a few ladies. We had an interesting relationship...yep, that sums it up.

Well, I hadn't spoken to him in over 10 years. All of a sudden, he resurfaces via FB. So, I was able to see that he was married, pretty successful, and looked EXACTLY the same. After we became FB friends, he wrote what seemed to be a 4-page email. Now, my memory is not very good. I have to be reminded of some things, so when he went on and on about how hurt he was when I severed our friendship and how much he valued me, I was confused for a good minute. By the time I got to paragraph 4, I was able to recall what happened.

My mom passed away while I was in college and during that time, my emotions were haywire and I started severing ties with people that I didn't feel were true friends. Now, I remember telling him that he wasn't worth my time but I don't remember why I said it. Oh well. It's not as if he fought for me or anything so 10 years can easily go by without speaking.

So, THAT'S the part of the email that I concentrated on at that time. The rest of it was just a backdrop...until I talked to my bestie. I mentioned something about his always saying something to me behind the scenes. If I update my status and he thinks it's funny, he'll email me instead of commenting. If I post a pic, he'll email me his opinion instead of commenting. I said something about his not wanting to be tracked and started talking about that 4-page email he sent. I focused on one thing; however, she picked up on another. I had to go back and read word for word exactly how he phrased a portion of the email.

He said:

"...you had a birthday party in June and you and I wrestled intimately on the couch a few hours before the other guests arrived. Now, I may be completely wrong. I may've even fantasized about the experience, but that thought made me smile."

So, when I first read the email, I didn't even blink at that statement. But when I read it to my bestie...my married bestie...my married bestie who seems to be the spokeperson for all the wives of the world...well, she became enraged. She probably got more pissed b/c I was laughing...at her. She said that it was totally inappropriate. OK, I won't disagree. I imagine that if I were going through my man's inbox (as I have done before) and come across something similar (as I have done before) then there would be some smoke in the city (as has gone down before). I guess that I didn't get weirded out by it, b/c I was too busy trying to digest everything else and wondering why what I said bothered him enough to speak on it...10 years later.

With a new set of eyes, I re-read the whole email and yeah, he said a few things that made me wonder what his motives were. A few emails later, he gave me his number and asked me to call him but I never did. I mean, "what I look like???" But anyway, even if he weren't married, we still live no where near each other so, to me, it was all harmless.

But was it?

So here are my questions...

If you're dating, in a relationship, or married to someone...do you expect them to never flirt with another member of the opposite sex?

Is that a realistic expectation?

And if it isn't, where do you draw the line?

Is "flirting" healthy?