congratulate me b/c I just lost my job

So if you're my Face.book friend or LadyLee (who I called before calling my daddy), then you probably just got the word that I was laid off.

I was going to write about my trip today, but this seems like a MUCH better topic, hunh?

Well, my trip to New Orle.ans was wonderful. Great food, great friends. I came back feeling rejuvenated. I planned my trip before we were told about our office-wide meeting today, so I thought that it was bad timing b/c I knew that I would be tired and may need the extra day off to recuperate. So I thought...

Going back home put a lot of things into perspective.

When I had dinner with my girlfriends, we were catching up on each others latest accomplishments and our jobs. Out of the five of us at the table, I felt as if I enjoyed my job the least. I don't know if its b/c they work more with people and I work with paper, but I started to reevaluate what it is that I was holding onto. Now, any one of them could've been faking the funk but I knew in my heart that I couldn't fake it if I tried.

Now that they've let me go, I'm just gon' be real for a moment. One thing that they did say to me before I walked out was that they couldn't afford me. They were DAMN RIGHT!

I had already been told to humble myself (in so many words) so that I could learn from my "mentor"...the prick that told me to "come and sit on his lap" when I asked him a question. They were already kind enough to let me know that they didn't support my getting a P.E. license or the other goals that I had outlined from day one. They made it clear that they didn't value my ambition or my motivation, so they were indeed correct! Them mofos CANNOT afford me. And I cannot afford to continue having chest pains and headaches to support their car notes.

But no hard feelings...my faith was never in man and as long as I keep my faith in God, I KNOW that everything is going to be more than alright.

And how do I KNOW this?

While I was back home, I had my friend G drive me around my old neighborhood. And as I looked at my house and the other houses, I was reminded of where I came from. I'm not talking about the state of the 'hood b/c it was always a good neighborhood. But my mom died in that house and then 6 years after that I lost everything that I owned in that house. As long as me and my baby still got our health, the worst that could ever happen to me has already happened.

So while my two "superiors" sat me down in the conference room and talked to me as if they had me shook, I said nothing and (at times) tuned them out. They said that I could work up until next Tuesday if I wanted to.

I had 2 projects due tomorrow and I was thinking that I would have to work overtime b/c I had missed 3 days from being back home. Running the calculations in my head...**carry the one**

FORGET THAT! Let ya golden boy, Mr. Mentor, handle it...that is, when he's actually at the office. I threw the deuce and walked out.

I didn't say anything to anybody, except for 2 other girls that were left broken at their cubes. I hugged each of them tightly and let them know that everything was going to be ok. I wasn't in the mood to have anyone else comfort me. I'm going back this evening to gather my things in the quiet after I pick up J from school.

And that's that.

Now, here is what I ask of you. I appreciate words of encouragement, but if you are moved to comment PLEASE do not say that you're sorry or feel sorry for me. I don't need that and I don't want it. I know that it comes from a good place, but I am in good spirits right now.

If anything, just congratulate me on my new opportunity...b/c there is most certainly one in the works.

I's back...

Words to follow shortly...need some rest so that I can be alert for "THE MEETING". I'll holla~

simply giddy

...and I have every reason to be! "I'm poor, black, and may even be ugly, but dear God, I'm HERE!" -celie

OK, 2 of those descriptions don't apply to me and its pretty clear that I'm black, but there was so much spirit behind that quote in the movie that I just had to throw my fists in the air and use it b/c I'M HERE!

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So, on Monday I got pulled over by a cop with a speech impediment. "D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Do you know wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh **pause, takes breath** why I p-p-p-p-pulled..." Ok, I'm not trying to be funny, but that was the LONGEST traffic stop of my daggone LIFE! But he earned his badge and caught me b/c my tags were expired. Had he not pulled up (ahead of me, mind you) to the stoplight, in the lane adjacent to me, and heard that I was bumping my music rather loud (b/c my song JUST came on and my kid wasn't in the car), he wouldn't have even broke his neck trying to spot who was in the car through his rear view mirror.

Now, I'm not gonna say that I was racially profiled (b/c my tags WERE expired....although I have had a cop to ride behind me for more than a mile and not be able to see that or care). I will accept responsibilty b/c it slipped my mind and I should've gotten them renewed on time. It was just funny, how he slowed up just enough to get behind me and then rode my ass while he was pulling up all my info, including my uncle Vernon's middle name, for a good minute until he found SOMETHIN', ANYTHING and then he pulled me over.

When he started talking, I have to say that I wanted to grab the clipboard and write the damn ticket myself.

Anyway, went to the DMV on Tuesday and then to the courthouse today, showed my new registration, and told the clerk to drop the case like it's hawwwttttt!!! Got a "Com.plied with Law" stamp and was singing on my way. "Spin around ma'...drop, drop, like's it's hawwwttt...."

And the moral of the story is...don't be ig'nant with your music while breaking the law and black. Got it??? LOL!

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Why is Face.book SO SERIOUS?! So I was being sex.ually harrassed by this guy at work, who's supposed to be my "mentor". Hmmmm, I typed that kinda matter-of-factly but it was really happening and I guess that I might not have written anything about it on here. I went to ask him something once and he said "come sit on my lap" and he has blown a kiss at me in a meeting (in front of my now supervisor)...just grossly disrespectful. I've discussed this behavior with my supervisor and well...that's a whole 'nother blog that I may never write but this dude is sweating me over being my Face.book friend. I've already ignored his friend request, blocked him from being able to search me, and dismissed it when he first mentioned it. Now, a month later he's still saying it all sleazy, "I want to be your Face.book frieeeennd." I'm one of 3 female en.gineers there and the only black one...if I could get away with stomping him in his nuts, it would be a good day. But, that's the only thing that he says to me now (aside from ACTUALLY mentoring me), so I guess that there may have been some sort of "slap on the hand."

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My baby's Opening Day for Little League was this past weekend...that includes the parades, fire trucks, moonbounces, team pictures, etc. It was a gorgeous day and it was pretty cool to see all of those kids excited about being celebrated by their families. I always wonder if J wishes that he had more than just me there...I mean, we're on year 3 of this and it has just been slightly-overzealous me. I take as many pictures as my battery will allow and email them to my dad, but I know that it's not the same. I hope that he remembers how many times I've lost my cell phone in the bleachers while jumping up and down and cheering for him.