13

Trying out this mobile posting...I'm recovering from last night. I am still in the bed at 3 in the afternoon, but will get up long enough to shower and do it all over again. I am back home in the N.O.  And just as I have enough time to be free and somewhat reckless, I have enough time to reflect.

I was going to write another few stories about my dating experiences as of late, but then I thought about it. I exhibit certain patterns and I am attracted to the patterns of a certain type of guy. The ones that I think are one breath shy of being totally invested with little effort on my part are not as attractive/interesting. Maybe it's that I don't feel special...that I could've been any one or any face. But then I wonder if that's the same vibe that I'm giving off to the ones that I DO want to pursue me.

I mentioned before that 2012 has been a great year. I have been blessed abundantly. I have a great life, an awesome son, hilarious friends, and from what I can see, the best job that I've had to date. But when I think about it, I've never really been happy with a single status. Having a man was a part of my mental checklist: Save money, advance in my career, make renovations to the castle, and get married, etc. Maybe I'm not the only one. But when I think about being successful at all but one of those goals on my list, I feel that that is some sort of failure on my part.  Obviously, I have less control over the whole marriage thing and so, at times, it has been more of a frustrating journey than a spiritually progressive one. And not that it shouldn't be a goal for some (I can't speak for anyone else), it dawned on me that it is one of those things that may or may not make my life better. But my thought has always been that it will and, in a sense, I have been in wait...for my life to get better. This diminishes the value of everything else that has happened.  And instead of focusing and being more appreciative of the things that I do have, I have focused on what I don't.

My resolution for 2013...to be happy as a single person. To not lay in wait, but to enjoy myself right now. I had a conversation with one of my guy 'friends'. He said something so absurd and that made me wonder...why in the hell am I giving this dude any more of my time?  Everyone wants to be desired, but at what cost? So every guy that I am even halfway interested in right now will no longer occupy my mind rent free.  I need to address my own emotional needs, go forth, prosper, rinse, and repeat.

I will strive to be satisfied with my singleness and live my life 'right now'.  In the meantime, I have joined a running group, have found another organization to volunteer my time, am finalizing traveling plans, and will get back into my home improvements.

Starting with tonight, I will have more cocktails with the girls.  And if I should meet another handsome gentleman, I will be fun, I will be flirtatious, but I will be free of any and all expectations. I will already be out with the best date ever...me.  That's the only relationship that I need to work on.

natural hair anniversary #3

Since I have this once-a-month updating routine, I have fallen behind the times with this blogger stuff.  I have no idea who's reading me but I can see that the preferred updates are those related to hair.  It appears that many end up on my page for natural hair inspiration of some sort.  The search terms range from a particular hairstyle to some milestone.  So, I apologize for my lack of timeliness when it comes to hair updates.  Unfortunately, I haven't taken very many pics of myself to document the journey as of late, but I have included some pics that were taken of me to give you an idea of where I stand in my now 3 year anniversary mark, as of mid-June.

                                                                                             

As seen above, I enjoy the fluffiness of an aged twist out.  Probably to the detriment of my hair, the drier...the more voluminous...the better.  I was once a fierce "re-twister" at night, but the pineapple method tends to elongate and volumize at the same damn time.  (Had a 'hood moment).  Another good volumizer is some old-fashioned "sexy time".  I didn't bother to prep my hair once and just allowed the constant "handling" of my hair.  When it was all said and done, I just made sure that I wasn't laying on my hair when I fell asleep.  Now, I wouldn't recommend this method if you work at a very conservative office.  But I got many looks when I walked in with some man-handled hair the following morning.  Good or bad, I didn't mind.  I loved the wild look.  I find that I now totally embrace frizz and am less impressed with the perfect curl.

                                                        

                                                            

However, a few times, I ventured back to the wash n' go.  I celebrated my bday, in the polka dot dress, with an updo that was simply a ponytail that I placed on the top and side of my head and left some hair out in the front to frame my face.  Pinned the hell out of it everywhere.  I just wet my hair that morning and used aloe vera gel to define my curls.  Aloe vera gel is great at elongating and defining at the same damn time, lol.  (Had another 'hood moment).  As for the pic in the purple sundress, I think that I just used goo gobs of the Sh.ea Moi.sture Thick.ening Growth M.ilk while in the shower to add weight to my hair while it was soaked.  I used aloe vera around my edges and twisted the front to look as it were a natural headband.  I was at a rather "earthy" event that day for lack of a better term and fit right on in.

OK, honestly, there is nothing special about this hairstyle.  I just wanted to show what Spec.ial Ed looks like now.  I ran into him at a festival here and had no idea who he was.  I mean, a group of us were just standing around and talking so he seemed like a regular dude to me.  But when I asked (b/c people kept stopping him for photos) and he said that he was the Mag.nificent, himself, I HAD to take a pic.  I went on and on about that episode of The Cos.by Show that he was on.  Yep, it was one of those moments that if I could rewind, I would have spit a couple bars from "I Got It Ma.de".  OK, back to our natural hair special...

If you're anything like me, you DO NOT look forward to wash day.  You want to extend the period between washes as long as possible, but you don't want to look as if you had a fight with the pillow and the pillow won.  I experimented with my steadily growing bushy hair one night and put some Hell.o Hydra.tion conditioner in a spray bottle and diluted it with water.  I only sprayed my ends.  I did not touch my roots.   I retwisted and just hoped for the best.  When I woke up, it was only slightly damp, but it dried like this.  I got a lot of compliments on it, but it's not often that I want my hair to be this perfectly curled.  But ok, that was my tip of the week.  Although, I think it's better to use a natural conditioner b/c over time, my ends started to feel dry.

THE COMPARISON SHOTS

Here is the comparison from last year to this year.  Honestly, I didn't think that I retained that much b/c I have been slacking.  The pic in the black is after I took down my pineapple.  Yes, I still had some eye boogie b/c I was half-asleep.  And yes, I could clean my mirror...

It's probably hard to tell the difference between the contorted monster claw and the more relaxed hand, but I have reached the bottom of my bra strap.

So, earlier this year I was having issues with my hair trying to lock.  My twistouts looked like ratty twigs.  Finger detangling and just combing with my wide tooth shower comb were no longer the business.  I am pretty late to the game, but I purchased a Den.man brush and have been pretty pleased with the detangling process ever since.  I don't think that the Den.man is supposed to be what's hot either, but I just didn't have that kind of time to be picking hairs apart ever-so-gently.  So there...I have sinned.  And I will probably keep sinning until it doesn't work for me anymore. 

And there it is.  Now that I am working remotely, I would like to believe that I'll spend more time nurturing my hair but I won't make any promises.  Life takes over but I WILL have fun with my hair along the way!

best week ever

I had been a ball of nerves for weeks.  And then  FINALLY, I got good news.  I sat at work on a Friday afternoon, wondering why I was still there at 3pm when it was waaayyyy too sunny outside to be couped up and behind a computer.  And especially now that I wasn't too fond of my current job, I looked for any reason to leave...headache, hangnail, bad breath, whatever! 

As I started packing up, I got a congratulatory email stating that I passed my exam!  It only took them 7 WEEKS to score a computer-administered exam.  But oh well..since I passed, I forgave them.  I happily marched over to my Dept. Head to gloat but, more importantly, be reimbursed for my efforts.  As I held the printed email up, I hoped that he could read what I was thinking.  Something along the lines of "Look at me now, look at me now...ohhhhhh...I'm getting paper...I'm fresher than a mug."  He seemed rather impressed, especially considering how one of his team leaders couldn't pass the exam to save his life.  I left him to marinate on that, bcuz Happy Hour was definitely necessary.

On my way to get a margarita about the size of my head, I get a call.  After 7 WEEKS of interviewing I was offered the job in DC!  I tried to play it cool as the guy was running down the salary and list of benefits.  PRAISE HIM!  When God shows up, He shows out!  I have been so unhappy with my job.  I just got to the point where I didn't want to design anymore.  When you have to sit in your car in the morning before you enter the building and at lunch to give yourself a pep talk, it is definitely time to move on.  Feeling unappreciated, wronged, replaceable, etc. is not a good look.  NOW, I will be getting paid more money to work from home (heading to DC occasionally) doing the function, which I loved the most on my current job, full-time.  I can also potentially move back to the N.O. anytime I want to.  It gets no sweeter.  They gave me the weekend to think about it, but my mind was made up during the conversation.  This job was better than any job that I could've possibly found in the N.O.

I already had plans to celebrate my birthday early with my girlfriends last weekend, but this was cause for an EXTRA toast.  We went to a tasting at a local winery.  We always start out so diginified, but by the end of the night, our shoes were off, dancing in the grass and on the stage with the band.  We followed it up with a champagne brunch on Sunday.  I couldn't think of a better way to bring in 34.

After a fabulous weekend celebration, I handed in my two weeks notice, first thing Monday morning.  I thought that after all I had been through the past few months that their reaction would've been "Ok, bye."  I never got the feeling that I was valued until the company attempted to counter my offer.  It's funny how I have been begging for more money that they could never find for almost 3 years.  The increase was comparable to the new job, but the stress was certainly not worth it.  The reaction that I have been getting from my peers and VPs alike is that I'll be missed but they understand how great an opportunity this new job is for me.  I will still see most during meetings for the professional organizations we belong to.  Others...well, bye!  

My dad, my stepmom, and my baby nephew came up on my bday.  I was spoiled!  J's dad came up on Thursday and my friends came down from northern VA to attend my baby's graduation from elementary school on Friday.  It has been a long time coming!  I am SO proud of my lil man!  We are both embarking on new beginnings and it couldn't be more exciting. 

Here it is...it's my last week at the current job and I have SOOOOO much stuff to do.  Let's see, I'll be checking FB, all my email accounts...oh, I think that it's my turn in Draw Something, gotta catch up on my forums...and maybe somewhere amidst all that busy-ness, I MAY do SOME work.

I encourage YOU to have the best week ever!

still doing me

It's funny that S23 would harp on the timeliness of my updates when SHE has been ghost for ages!  Just saying, but then again, that sounds like her, lol.

I am actually off today, so now I can finally focus.  So, everything is going on.  My baby has chosen a boy scout troop and is about to have his crossover ceremony the end of this month.  We're also gearing up for his 5th grade graduation from elementary school.  And now, it is once again, baseball season...yay, I suppose.  So, he is having the time of his life.

So, what about me?  **Deep breath**  Well, in January, I was informed that my company was having financial issues.  One would think that this is due to the economy, but I feel that some decisions made by upper management could be more to blame.  At any rate, as a result, we had a few la.yoffs.  I'm no virgin to this and my blog tracks that.  Those of us that survived (which is about 95% of us) have to take 3 weeks of furlou.gh time before the end of June (along with other perks being suspended).  Today is the beginning of my first week.  Technically, my first week was supposed to be during Mar.di Gra.s but I was asked to come in, if I could...so I did.  Yes, I went back home to celebrate with fam and friends for MG.  No, I did not leave early.  This trip was a result of my summer cruise in June getting cancelled b/c of schedulling conflicts.  So, I took the money from that and back to New Orl.eans, J and I went (we seem to be averaging every other month).  Once I returned, I worked 9 days straight, so today I have elected to not do a damn thing. 

And bcuz all of this is going on, I made sure that I partied hard while at home.  I got my hair flat ironed for the second time, so that I could be ready for the Zu.lu ball.  However, I did get caught in the rain on the way to the airport so I put some flexi rods in my hair the night before to reverse the frizziness.  When I say that my dress and shoes came together at the last minute, I mean just that!  I didn't want to look as if I were going to prom, but I didn't want to look as if I were a bridesmaid either.  

 

I have been practicing with my makeup lately, adding a few products to my arsenal.  So, I had a game plan.  I was being rushed while I was getting ready, but altogether, I think that it came together nicely.  I felt really good about myself and that was reflected in the way that I pranced around the ballroom.  But while sitting at the table, people watching, I decided to text Darius to see if he were there.  Within 5 minutes, we were eye to eye.  It was good seeing him again...and yes, I was "tested" that night.  I passed!  I failed on another night though, lol.  I don't think that it's really fair to call it a test bcuz I was not fighting with myself.  You know what..I'm a grown ass woman.  I made my mind up and that's what I wanted to do, so I did it.  I had a good time.  The end.

I went to the Bac.chus parade on Sunday but I have to say that this was the first time that I didn't see not "nare one" float.  I was hanging with my girl, who's hubby is a part of some new social club so we basically sat around, ate, drank, wobbled, talked, and obnoxiously listened to music with the group (until the So.ul Re.bels rolled up and did an impromptu performance...one of the reasons why I love my hometown so much) as the parade rolled behind us.  I saw this one guy who was right up my alley...he was pretty, lol, but I couldn't work up the nerve to say anything to him.  I felt like a schoolgirl.  But his boy, of course, wouldn't get out of my face.  I took the latter one's card b/c I refuse to pass up a good networking opportunity and so far, it has been.  But eh, such is life. 

We were all over the place on Mar.di Gr.as day.    We went from the stands, to get a good view of the Zu.lu King and Queen toasts, to a balcony (no shirts were lifted for beads and trinkets).  j even made some new little friends and ran off with them.

We closed the day by walking amongst the India.ns.  After spending 12 hours on my feet, I was too tired to do anything else.  We had an amazing trip.  J got to spend time with his cousins and I got to act as if I were a teenager with no responsibilities for a week.  And then we came back here.  **crickets**

So, this week I plan to clean, job hunt, rest and study for another set of initials that I want behind my name.  This test shouldn't be as hard as the PE was, so I hope that I don't go in with the overconfident mindset and bomb it.  If I pass it, I will make even more enemies than those the PE created.  Something about that makes me smile, lol.  I would like to believe that the next time that I go home will be for good but who knows what will happen.  If not, my next visit may be in June.  J seems to think that I should take the whole summer off so that I could be with him in the N.O.  We'll see how that goes as well.

Progress

Wow!  It has been almost 4 months since I last blogged.  Of course, much has happened, 15 year HS reunion, my son's father got married, Christmas/New Year's in N.O. during which I met his new wife and his new mother-in-law (talk about ambushed), my son's uncle/godfather passed away (heart attack at 35 y/o), girl meets new boy, girl stops talking to said new boy, girl has a wonderful "run-in" with an old boy from the past (read between the lines on that one), and now girl decides to avoid all those topics to talk about hair, lol.  I may get to them later, but just note that I have high hopes for 2012 and brought this New Year in smiling...aaaaaannnnd dancing barefoot on a couch in a club with a champagne flute in hand.  Buuutttt, back to the point of this blog...

I have to admit that I have not been as good with taking care of my hair as I was in the beginning of last year.  I am trying to get back in the groove but my schedule doesn't allow for all-day spa sessions.  But what I have noticed is...I don't have to sacrifice "life" for my hair.  And what I mean is, I would continuously watch youtube vids and follow the do's and don'ts of growing out my hair but it's really not THAT serious.  I have done all the wrong things like not sleeping with a satin bonnet, using un-natural products, used heat, not protective styling, and plain ole not really giving a sh*t to a certain extent.  So here's my progress...

January 2011

You couldn't tell me that my hair wasn't banging then!

October 2011

November 2011

Used a blow-dryer to stretch

December 2011

  

First time that I've had my hair professionally flat-ironed in the past 2 and a half years.

Got countless comments on whether or not this was all of my hair...nothing against weave, I just simply can't afford it.

 

And back again!

So, my new hair goals for 2012...have fun with it!



can I write about hair now?

I'm pretty boring in the hair department, hence the reason that I haven't posted much about it.  I'm still trying to find a good mix for a deep conditioner.  Everytime that I think that I am using the same ingredients, I get sporadic results.  And then end up trying to retrace my steps when I had THE best consecutive hair days.  Also, I haven't used shampoo in weeks and am still trying to figure out if that's a product that I'll exclude altogether.  So far, so good.  My go-to style for the moment:

My son is not a fan of the ponytail (nor my wearing my glasses, for that matter).  He keeps telling me that he prefers my hair to be "wild".  I, on the other hand, don't mind a ponytail while I'm still battling this heat.  And this seems to be the only way that I can rock a wash and go b/c I dislike how limp my hair looks in the front as it grows out.  One thing I can say...it's going to take me a minute before I give up my Suave Professionals Almond and Shea Butter.  in fact, I'm about to hop in the shower and spend some quality time with it again as I slick my hair BACK into another ponytail after rocking this for 4 days: 



First thing that I thought when I heard word that Hurr.icane I.rene was supposed to hit the east coast was that I'll use that downtime to henna my hair.  And so I did.  But then the f'in power went out.  Thank goodness I have gas, so I still had hot water.  So, imagine me trying to do my hair by flashlight.  After a while, I just gave up, lol.  We only lost power for 10 hours so I was able to resume styling, the following morning.  What you won't do...for love.  But anyway, I think the henna is giving me more hangtime.

2 years, 3 months strong, but the way my hair tangles is driving me insane!  What kind of product do I need to prevent THAT?!

10 - mini-me is not so mini anymore :(

Celebrating my one TRUE labor day, the day that I gave birth to my lil man, J.  He turned 10 today.  Good Lawd, YA'LL are getting old, lol.

Truth be told, I've written about 3 blogs since my last posting, but I scrapped them b/c I'm just not ready to share.  I need some time to get comfortable again.  BUT, I had to celebrate my baby's birthday on blog.

My boy, Navy, came down for the weekend and took care of us.  My crew had a cookout on Saturday and surprised J (and me) with a cake.  My lil man even learned how to play spades and got to sit at the mens table.  (Next up, dominoes, lol).  We had a great time as I served everyone on some more MJ Ex.perience.  Then on Sunday, Navy treated us to King's Do.minion.  I was mistaken for J's older sister by an entry photographer at the park, but it's cool.  J had a blast and we closed it down!

Today, I woke him up and gave him his gifts.  He was so appreciative that he hopped out of bed just to give me a big hug.  I love that lil boy so much.  I was "allowed" to drop off cupcakes at his school and I made sure NOT to kiss him in front of his friends (the biggest gift that I could give), lol.

Happy Birthday to the greatest joy in my life! (only 8 more to go)

awkward black girl

My youtube addiction has gone well past natural hair gurus.  I'll watch inspirational vids, up & coming comedians, and whatever else seems interesting in the sidebar.  My mom's best friend emailed me the link to this a while back...maybe she's saying that the lead chick reminds her of me...I don't know.  I am anxiously awaiting Episode 8, but this is my favorite episode so far.

what's shaking

One reason why I know that I need a vacation...

Yesterday in the afternoon, I was sitting at my desk, working on a project that was due today. That's when I felt a rumble. At first I thought some of the maintenance men that I frequently see around the office were fixing some random piece of HVAC eqipment. But the rumble lasted a lot longer and grew more intense than the typical maintenance job. When I looked to my right, the wall partitions and lights above were vibrating. And that's when I panicked. I thought the building was about to collapse. I pictured that same scene of a building collapsing on TV. This image did not move me b/c I still sat in my seat trying to think of what to do. Am I supposed to run to the stairwell? Stand in a doorway? Get under my desk? One thing that I did do, I saved my work. Dramatically speaking, in the event that I should go down with this building; yet, my work is recoverable, I would like it to be up to date, lol. When it stopped, I got up and walked into the hallway and shouted, "What in da hell was THAT?!" A coworker said, "I think it was an earthquake."

My office is on the third floor. I migrated to the window, only to see that the whole first floor had left the building and were gathering outside. I go back to my desk and text my dad to tell him that VA just had an earthquake. Soon after that, I called my son's daycare and ask them if everyone was alright. And then, I was told that we had to evacuate for an hour.

I know that I need a vacation when I'm being told that I have to evacuate immediately, but I proceed to save my work AGAIN, shut down my computer, grab my laptop, pack my bag, and bounce. Heaven forbid it had been a fire. I went to an eatery down the street with some coworkers (us rebellious ones who refused to stand outside in the heat) and we watch CNN to try and piece together what happened. This is when I realize that I can't call anyone, can't check voicemails, can't text, BUT I can get on FB. Apparently, my dad had sent out the bat-signal to my stepmom, my sisters, and my aunt (who I hadn't talked to in YEARS) --- all FB friends. I didn't know that he tried to call me right after I sent the text and I'm sure that a lot of stuff had to have been going through his mind based on what he had seen on tv and his inability to reach me. By the time my 2nd sis got a hold of me on FB, I was able to use my phone to call him back and calm him down.

And then I became concerned about J. When we left the N.O. b/c of Hurricane K.atrina, it took a while for him to get over the trauma of losing everything. I just knew that he was probably losing it. So, I left to pick him up. When I get to the daycare, he was having a blast in the ball pit in one of the play rooms. He was actually upset that I picked him up early. When we walked outside I asked him, "Man, did you feel THAT?!" He said yeah. He goes on to tell me how all the kids were freaking out b/c of the vibrations, but that he was sitting by a bookshelf during reading time, so he got a massage out of it. I fell out laughing. Here I am worried about him. He wasn't the one that needed to be soothed.

We went home to make sure that all was well...and it was. So the only thing that came from that earthquake is a cool story to share on the first day of school.

And I will be taking a mini-staycation soon, before I go home in October.

it WAS my anniversary (hair)

It's been 2 years (and 2 weeks) since my dad said, "Are you really going to leave the house looking like that?" Several arguments and raggedy ass comments later, he's finally reached the point of acceptance.

It's also interesting to witness my son go from indifference to begging me to allow him to grow a mini-afro of his own. And we did that during the first 5 months of this year. He recently cut it off for the summer, but would like to grow it back again ASAP. He now offers his unsolicited opinion of how "I don't look right" with my hair in a ponytail as he prefers it "all over my head."

What a difference 2 years make...

(June 13, 2009)

(June 28, 2011)

(June 12, 2009 - blurry, I know)

(June 28, 2011)

My 6-month healthy hair challenge ends July 1st. I retained more length than I thought I would considering how I wear my hair out 90% of the time. I also manipulate/retwist every night (when it's not in a ponytail) to keep it from tangling. (Everything that I've read that you shouldn't do to retain length). The things that most likely worked to my advantage may be product consistency, deep conditioning after every wash, being extra careful during my detangling sessions, and overall keeping it simple.

(January 1, 2011)

(June 28, 2011 - It goes under my chin and touches my neck)

(January 1, 2011)


(June 28, 2011)


(January 1, 2011)


(June 28, 2011 - beware of the CLAW, lol)

I usually get the 2 year itch to cut my hair off, but I'm gonna hold out for a minute. I haven't henna'd in ages, but I think that I'd like to try it again, so that I can darken my hair with indigo. I know that the summer inspires many to go lighter, but I think that darker hair looks better against my skin tone and I'm hoping that it imparts more shine (and lays the smack down on these 3 gray hairs that have sprouted up, lol).

hou.se hun.ters

So, my episode of Hou.se Hunt.ers aired last Thursday (too lazy to find the link to the blog that I wrote about my filming experience, but it's around here somewhere :o). The couple that I helped out had a mini-watch party at their not-as-new home. I've always wanted to be on HGTV. Although not necessarily in this way, but it's a start, right?

I debated on whether or not to announce it b/c I wanted to preview it. After all, I had gotten up early, thinking that I would've filmed my scene first, but fell asleep while waiting for my big break. The things that I thought that they would've shown, they didn't. The things that I don't remember saying while filming, they did. And while watching, all I could focus on were my cheeks. It looked as if the camera added 10 pounds to my face and my hair wasn't as long as it is now to detract from them.

But aside from that, it was fun to watch...especially after 3-4 glasses of wine. My fam kept texting me and ribbing me. It was all good.

Unexpectedly, they ended up showing my loft/office and it looked fabulous. I'm still waiting on Can.dice Ols.en to call and ask me to cohost Di.vine De.sign. They did not show my living room, which I thought, was the money shot. But perhaps that was for the best. I made mention of my emotional decorating in my last post. I recently painted over the red accent wall in my living room that I have been enamored with for the past 3 or 4 years. I remember when I painted it...all 5 coats of it since I didn't buy primer (too lazy to find the link to the blog that I wrote about my painting experience, but it's around here somewhere :o).

Initially, I didn't want to cover it b/c that would negate all of my hard work back then, but it was time for a change. Plus, I needed something to do since J was leaving me. So, I picked up some cinnamon paint to brighten things up a bit.

Ignore the orange blotch. I was trying to see if I preferred something brighter, but after staring at the blotch for a day, I covered it back up with more cinnamon paint. I'm pretty happy with my decision since it brings out the terra cotta undertones in my slate countertop and coffee table. Also, it compliments the other walls that one sees when they walk through my front door.

Now, I'm walking around with a hammer and a screwdriver, looking for other things to do to my house while I'm missing my baby.

the goings on

Thanks to everyone that congratulated me in my last post. I really appreciated it. So much has happened since then. Now that my son has left me for the summer (hopefully, only a month), I'll devote more time to tell some stories. I should b/c otherwise, my missing him will lead to other impromptu decorating decisions...like painting over my red wall in my livingroom. Yes, I did that. I have since put the paint brush down and backed away slowly.

I reached my 2 year natural anniversary a little over a week ago, but my camera is acting funny, so I didn't bother doing a special post. I'll figure this out later. But 2 years ago, I had about as much hair as my son has in the above pic taken on my birthday.

I turned 33 last week. YAY to 33! I tell you one thing, I love who I am in my 30s. Yes, I still have problems and things don't always go my way but it's different. You couldn't pay me to revisit my twenties. Seven of my girlfriends here celebrated with me during a Sunday birthday brunch at a fabulous French-themed restaurant. No big hats this year. I DID overdo it on the mimosas, but it WAS long overdue. Since my idea of going out is browsing the aisles of Home De.pot when on break from baseball games and cubscout meetings, my girls encouraged me to down another one...and another one. I was rather "nice" by 1:00pm. We just sat and enjoyed each other's company until I sobered up...somewhere around 5:00pm. :o)

Since passing my exam, I've had my Performance Evaluation and it went great. Now, I'm just waiting to see if the next raise matches the review. But that's not even the sweetest part in all of this.

I'll close out this random post with one of my little stories. I did contact my former supervisor...you know, the one that said that he can no longer afford me the day after I returned from vacation 2 years ago. Anyway, I thanked him and some other gentlemen for writing my recommendations for my exam application and let them know that I passed...extending the olive branch. Now, I may be childish but I still have a slightly bad taste in my mouth over the way things went down. And on top of that, I didn't like how he gave my former coworker a bad review when contacted by my current employer. I was trying to get him hired at my company when he was laid off by them (with a family to feed and an unemployed wife), but my ex-supervisor told them, "I wouldn't trust him with his own projects." I found this to be rather odd b/c he was telling my ex-coworker one thing and apparently, letting everyone else know something totally different. Needless to say, my company didn't grant my friend so much as an interview.

Fast forward to now, he writes me back to tell me congratulations. But in the same email, he asks if my company has any openings, b/c he'd like to get on. Come to find out, since I had been laid off, this dude was demoted from VP, had to swallow a pay cut, and had his decisions questioned until he finally decided to leave my former place of employment. I was tripping out, b/c the same man that couldn't afford me 2 years ago was asking ME about a job. How ya like dem apples? So, I kept it cool. I asked him to forward me his resume and told him that I'll make sure that the VP receives it. I held true to my word and sent it off. Part of me felt like I owed him "something" since he did hire me. The VP then calls me in his office and asks me questions about my ex-supervisor. I struggled to answer b/c I didn't want to bad mouth the man b/c that reflects more on me than that man. All I could think was that ever since this dude had brain surgery, he hasn't been right, but I didn't exactly know how to phrase it. I was finally asked, rather bluntly, about the man's performance. My honest opinion...

"Well, I can't say much, but...I wouldn't trust him with his own projects." I guess the OTHER part of me felt that I owed him "something else". HA! A setback is a set-up for a comeback, baby!

I PASSED!

Pictured below is J and I at the school's Mother-Son dance a few weeks ago.

Pictured above is a woman, who just found out 2 days ago, that she passed her PE exam!!! I am still on cloud 9! I believe that I have hit the stage where you debate what kind of frame you want to display your certificate in and on which wall will you display it. Should I hang it up in my home office or bring it to work and ask, "Are you ready to take me seriously now?" I have 2 months to decide since that's when it will arrive.

Admittedly, I was freaking out this week b/c my co-worker and accountability partner found out that she didn't pass her exam (a different one from mine). And then I heard tale that 2 people in my department (who were attempting a different certification) didn't pass their exams. And seeing as how I'm not foreign to failing, I was ready to hang it up. My books have been stacked against a wall across from my bed since I took the test, ready to be picked up again if necessary. Yet, in my mind, I couldn't fathom having to sacrifice my livelihood for months, holed up on weekends and getting up at 3 am on weeknights (when it was quiet), studying until it was time for me to get ready for work.

I had just finished discussing my plans for the Memorial Day weekend when I checked my email on my phone and saw that the testing board had posted the results. This is earlier than normal b/c they usually like to ruin your July 4th, lol. I wasn't so sure that I was ready to give up being content with life to know my results. I logged into my account and viewed my notice with my hands covering my face. Slowly peeking to the right, I saw in all caps, "PASS!" Holy mother of God, I had to muffle my screams. I cried. I jumped around. I got my shout on. This.was.big.

I am the first one to acquire this license in my specialty, one of 2 women in my dept., and one of 2 black people in the whole daggone company. I popped my collar so hard that I almost got a crook in my neck, lol.

I promptly printed my results notice and pranced around with it. The VP of my dept. wasn't in his office, so I kindly emailed him the results and cc'ed my direct supervisor.

I got a "congratulations", 3 handshakes, increased respect....oh, and a RAISE effective immediately. And there's more where that came from come annual review time in July.

I know that I neglect my blog more often than not, but to retrace what I have written to date about the things that I have gone through career-wise makes me feel so blessed. Two years ago, I had just been laid off and had no clue of what I was going to do. Interestingly enough, the same people who were responsible for letting me go were the same people that wrote my recommendations for my exam application afterward when asked. I guess that I have to thank them for helping me to get where I am now. Finally, I'm at a place where I'm valued.

I almost feel as if things don't come easy for me for a reason. I adore humility in others and that's how I wish to remain. But mayne...when I get my stamp in the mail, like Ye, "You can't tell me nuthin'!"

**Dancing**

hair challenge: 4 months in

I try not to write so much about my hair b/c, in my mind, I think that I may bore some if not all that still read my blog. However, I get the most interest by way of email questions and comments with regard to my hair. I guess that I'm getting traffic based on some product that I mentioned or just by talking about my journey. Sooooo, here's another hair post. :)

I last washed my hair on Saturday morning and here's my 5th day twist out. I have a little less than 2 months left in my 6 month hair challenge and I have to admit that I have slipped more than a few times. I have gone to sleep without my bonnet, stretched out the time between washings while I was studying, and trimmed my ends a little too often. On the flip side, I have been more open to trying different products and techniques in order to optimize my hair regimen.

Here are the things that I've learned so far:

(1) I love the Shea Moisture Restorative Masque; however, I have discovered that the best moisturizing deep conditioner for me is the yogurt and coconut milk homemade conditioner. I change up what I mix in it...banana baby food (after a mishap with unproperly mashed avocados), amla (to darken my hair), random oils that I have laying around, etc. I just need to be sure to not leave it in too long before my hair gets mushy. Otherwise, incredibly soft hair for days.

(2) Try as I might, I cannot give up aloe vera gel. I thought that all gels were the devil, but aloe vera has been really good for my slicked back ponytails and for my frizzy curl section.

(3) Alone, castor oil creates a hot mess. When mixed into my deep conditioner, I get a shine like no other.

(4) Washing my hair in twists has been the business.

(5) Suave Professionals Almond and Shea Butter has given me life. Up until now, I was sold on Yes to Tomatoes, but the new formula wasn't cutting it for my strands. And I was also having more trouble finding it at Ross for $2.99...I might've told too many my secret. I read a review on the Suave Professionals line and thought I'd cop it the next time I went to the grocery. Kroger had the 14 ounce bottle on sale for $1.15. Couldn't lose, right? Detangling was a BREEZE with this stuff. Plus, I diluted it with water and used it as a leave-in. Once again, winning. Went back to Kroger and bought 7 more bottles (only b/c that's all they had left). Yes, I have a problem. So much for using only all-natural products, but who cares when it gets the job done.

(6) Despite the minimal manipulation rule, re-twisting at night has minimized my single strand knots a great deal.

(7) My hair seems thinner on my right side than it is on my left. Hoping for the miracle cure of simply being natural, my hair remains thinner on this side from my relaxed days. Maybe it's b/c I sleep on the right side of the bed while on my right side. At any rate, I've come to accept it and don't plan on trying all kinds of treatments to cure it. It is what it is.

(8) I hope to never have to part ways with my Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie. It has loved me like no other.

yes we can, yes we did

Yesterday, J and I did the 10K. TODAY, my legs, thighs, and other regions that I can't name are screaming at me. Despite the weather reports, it was a beautiful day. We started out good, but man oh man, I started fading fast. And then when I got my second wind, J started acting like he was about to drop b/c of a cramp in his stomach. I know that he was salty at me everytime that I pointed at something and said that we were going to start back running once we hit that point. But it was fun! There were so many people out there cheering us on. And then there were those people holding and offering pans of cupcakes and boxes of doughnuts along the route in support. It was truly an experience...even when J decided that he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of it, lol. We ran and walked it, but once I saw the finish line from afar, I told J that we had to finish strong (this feeling was intensified when I saw this pregnant lady pass us up...and then the old man). And it was on! I kept chanting "We Can Do It, Yes, We Can!" We just had to keep pushing ourselves and we did it! It may have been ugly but we did it. Now, will we do this again next year...I'm not so sure. Unfortunately, J had a baseball game right after, so we had to race again to get to the field on the other side of town. I told him that he should be proud of himself b/c he did an amazing job.

I found some energy to wash my hair afterwards, but I just stood in the shower for 30 minutes. Simply stood. Reporting back from my last post about my deep treatment concoction...it was a miss this time. My curls were again moisturized but fell limp. I read that this could be a side effect from using either the yogurt or the coconut milk, but I hadn't experienced this before. The hair that is a looser texture was almost straight. I might've kept it in for too long or using it 2 times in a row could have been overkill. Who knows. I have been wearing my hair in a ponytail for the past 2 weeks to hide it and give it a chance to bounce back. So, I went back to my Deep Treatment Masque in hopes of bringing it back to life. Crossing fingers b/c I have to go to Cali next week and then back home the week after that, and I absolutely cannot afford to look crazy in either place.

I scored some She.a Mois.ture products on sale (BOGO) at Walgreens. I should be stocked up for the rest of the year. However, it looks like I have to find a new detangling conditioner. I bought the newly packaged Yes To Cu.cumbers and my hair gave it two thumbs down. I don't know what's missing or added to the new formula, but I'm not a fan. I am open to suggestions.

My dad is coming up on Wednesday to play Mr. Mom for a week when I go to Cali. My test is on Friday and I'm ready to knock it out of the park! J's baseball Opening Day is on Saturday, but after that, a coworker (who is taking a different professional exam that day) and I are celebrating getting our lives back after being holed up in our respective caves and studying for the past 3 months. I can't lie, I plan to be "nice" by 9pm. I'll spend Sunday recuperating and packing. I leave for Cali on Monday, will return that Thursday, and then my dad, J and I will all fly home on that Friday. Provided I'm not in a coma, I plan to enjoy my week in N.O. to the fullest. I don't normally take off from work for a whole week, but this is well-deserved and needed. Can I make it to then?

And the countdown begins...

macgyver hair

I've mentioned my hair a few posts back, but hadn't posted a recent pic of it in a while. So here's how we're hanging:



Forgive the face...I had just come from the dentist, who pratically had her foot in my chest. Just kidding...somewhat. This is 5 or 6 day hair that had just endured 2 hours of smooshing and squirming from the dental chair.

I wore a flower in my hair to work that day (yesterday) and got stopped by 4 different people, who were happy to see my flowers re-emerge for the spring. I guess that I get "some kind of way" during the winter and lose interest in dresses, heels, flowers, and almost all things girly. I have been wearing jeans and my "comfortably ugly" shoes (despite my close coworker's opposition) consistently for the past few weeks.

While working on a project in the training room with my team, a young man walked in. I have seen him before at 2 other meetings, but all I knew of him was that he was a new hire and quite an expensive one since he's leading a project that is providing my company's bread and butter for the next 2 years. He sat down behind me for a few and briefly chatted with a team member of mine. I overheard him offering too much information when asked about food or cooking or something close to that. His response included rambling on about losing his appetite after his ex called him the night before. I'm positive that he and my team member are not THAT close. I left to get a cup of water and to chuckle to myself away from him. When I came back and sat down, he leaned in and said, "I really like your flower." I thanked him for the compliment. Then he said, "You know, you have such beautiful hair" and proceeded to gaze at me for an uncomfortable amount of time. I thanked him again and wondered to myself...is he flirting with me? Can't be possible since I was wearing my "comfortably ugly" shoes, right?

But maybe my hair was still thriving off of my deep conditioning macgyver mission from the weekend before. It had been 2 weeks since my last wash and my hair was in NEED. Unfortunately, I did not have my fave conditioner on deck nor did I have my Shea Moisture Deep Condtioner. I winged it with some Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. My hair didn't seem to care for it, which is weird. But I didn't shed a lot of hair during my detangling session, which was weird as well.

At any rate, I needed to come up with a deep treatment, so I got a bowl and started searching my kitchen for some ingredients. I grabbed some leftover yogurt, a container of banana baby food that I previously used for a homemade deep conditoner, and some coconut mik. I then went upstairs while stirring and figured that I should throw in everything including the bathroom sink. In went the coconut oil...and then the castor oil...and finally, some Trader Joe's Nourish Spa conditioner.

I washed my hair and then slathered on this mixture while in the shower. I covered with a plastic cap and went to sleep. Yep, you guessed it. I was sexy and sure that any man would approve of this being the way that EVERY woman should come to bed.

The next morning, I rinsed with cool water and prepared to style into a twist out. My hair was shiny and soft and it appeared that the frizz that I usually suffer from at the canopy of my hair had been tamed. Problem is, I don't know which ingredient did it. My hair was almost TOO defined on Monday. Which is ok, but I like my hair to be slightly poofy. By Wednesday, I had finally hit the sweet spot.

So right now, I'm letting the same mixture marinate under my plastic cap, replacing the Trader Joe's with some amla powder that I had in my stash. At the beginning of my hair challenge I used amla and brahmi every week, but it seemed to be very drying after a while. I figured that this may be the safe way to use amla and see if it makes a difference. I trimmed my hair today and am pampering my strands with this treatment, as a way of apologizing for those nights that I slept without my bonnet, for every day that I have refused to wear a protective style, and for those lunch hours that I spent out in the sun while power-walking and sweating to the oldies. We'll see if my hair will accept this mission or if the message will self-destruct.

I was browsing through my hair pics on my comp and found this one from this time last year. What a difference a year makes. I remember thinking that my hair is taking it's sweet time to grow back.

he's proud of ME

Life has been pretty hectic, but I have to press pause for this moment. This month, I am helping the cubscouts earn their engineering badge. They have been building catapults and "towers" out of stiff sphaghetti noodles, marshmallows, and tape. I stayed an hour late at work last Friday, printing up portions of plans and creating packets for the boys that show what I do. I was concerned, b/c this is a den full of 9 year olds. I thought by the end of my presentation, that they would topple out of their chairs in boredom. Especially since I'm more of a "hands on" learner myself, I would have rather led another activity. But somehow, by the grace of God, I kept them engaged and interested. I had a couple of the parents tell me that their sons went home excited about what I showed them and even said that my job was "cool". But even better than that, J was quick to share with his PawPaw how good I was that night.

It's one thing to be proud of your kids, but it's an indescribable feeling when they are proud of you. Although I have been so tired from feeling as if I am burning the candle at both ends, I have to say that I DO love my job...the mommy one.

what had happened was...

So, if you have been following me for a while, you know by now that I have a tendency to drop off the map. I used to think that this was something that I needed to change...mainly b/c I am constantly being told that I NEED to change...and not close myself off so much. But honestly, I don't think that that is what I do. Sometimes, I just like to be to myself and my own thoughts. And if I need to take a vacation from people to clear my head, then that's what I'll do. Only child syndrome in full force, maybe.

With that said, if we're FB friends, I hadn't de-friended you. I de-activated my account right before the new year, so that I could focus on a few things. I didn't really think that this would be a big deal until I started getting calls and emails asking if J and I are ok. I appreciate the concern. And I do plan on re-activating the account sometime after my exam. This was just one of those times when I felt the need to step back from my web presence and be more present in my other relationships and responsibilities.

How are my challenges coming?

Well, unfortunately I got sick last month. What I thought was a cold hung around for 3 weeks and started to set up camp in my lungs. I was finally pushed to go to the doctor after being sent home from work for "sounding like hell". The doc said that I had a touch of pneumonia and opted to put me on antibiotics to take care of it before it got worse. I even argued with her about taking time off from work b/c I had so much to do. It didn't matter b/c the day that I was about to go against her wishes, J caught a stomach bug and I had to stay home anyway. I didn't even have time to be sick b/c no matter how many trash cans I placed in front of him, whenever he felt the urge to vomit, he missed. That was a "fun" day but maybe God's way of forcing me to slow down.

So, I have been playing catch up with my studying ever since. I have a month left until this test and then I'm ready to have my life back.

J and I are still on board to do the 10K on April 2nd. I have been keeping up with my pedometer and working it out all the while I was feeling horrible. My accountability partner at work has been pushing me and that's what I need, even when it annoys me , lol. I am in the middle of another step challenge and I am not the weakest link on my team **wipes brow**. I find that when I go by my friend's house and do the "Michael Jackson Experience", I am burning that pedometer up! (If you have it, that Ghost video is my joint. I "kills" it everytime, lol.) I love that game so much that I have decided to reward myself with it after I take my test.

My hair is coming along. I fell off my weekly routine when I got sick and went 3 weeks without washing and detangling it. I was prepared to comb out enough shed hair to make a wig, but it actually wasn't THAT bad. Since I started detangling with my shower comb and spray bottle of my conditioner/water mix before washing, I have been less stressed. And washing while my hair is still in twists has saved me much of a headache as well. Part of me wishes that I had the kind of hair that I can flip up and down in the water stream and wash it all sexy-like, like they do in the commercials, but it's ok. I like it the way that it is and maintaining it has gotten easier as it grows out. I have been consistent with all of my products, except the deep conditioner. I have tried a couple of homemade mixes and they were ok. I sometimes daydream of auditioning different deep conditioners but my pocket reminds me to stick to what I know. We'll see. But I've discovered that washing with shampoo and detangling every 2 weeks may not be a bad idea. I'm not too keen on spending so much time on my hair.

April: The 10K is on the 2nd. My exam is on the 8th. And then J and I are going back home to the N.O. during his spring break, the third week of April. Looking at my work schedule and everything else going on for the next 2 months, I will have earned my week-long vacay. I am counting down the days!

My dad shipped us a King cake that has been devoured and there is another cream cheese one on the way. Talk about lifted spirits to help me through this time! I may share with some folks, but then again, I may eat it up and walk it off later, lol. Happy Mar.di Gras, N.O.! I may not physically be there, but I'll be there in (good) spirit.